


The Soda machine incident

by Momoichi



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Confessions, Damian is angsty, LexCorp invented unbelievably comfortable furniture, M/M, Property Damage, Superhuman Powers, ginger crisis, introducing your kids to genetics, kid crushes, lots and lots of hope and delusions, meeting in the headmaster's office, mystery pockets, people know Superman's identity, raising children without kryptonite is hard, raising kids and general silliness, soda machines, super eavesdropping and its consequences, this is not how friends work Lena, unhelpful psychiatrists
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2019-07-07 00:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momoichi/pseuds/Momoichi
Summary: ‘I should have expected that you’d be involved.’ Superman announced, almost as if delivering a verdict for nothing lesser than the dissolving of the ozone layer.‘That might mean you’ve beaten your record for jumping to the wrong conclusion for the second time this month.’ Lex replied, eyes narrowed. He walked right next to him, with Lena in tow, to intimidate him from closer proximity.‘Mr Amerson was just about to tell me all about how your son attacked my daughter.’ he stated casually while turning to look at the headmaster.‘Weren’t you…?’ his smile was polite but his glare threatened with utter destruction of this building and mr Amerson‘s career.





	1. Chapter one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm alive. And yes, I'm skipping fandoms again. Oops? :P  
> Just a heads-up that Superman's identity is a common knowledge in this thing and probs also the identities of the other heroes, at least to the authorities and other institutions... and to their sworn enemies, of course.

The headmaster of Metropolis city primary school for the gifted re-adjusted his tie. It was late February, but he still found his shirt sticking to his back, drenched in nervous sweat. He switched on the lamp on his desk before he thought better of it and switched it off again.

He looked at the clock hanging on one of the green walls, watching its hands turn at a snail’s pace, torn between wanting the entire affair to be over, and wishing for the time to stop all together. He found himself dreading every new minute, as it seemed to push the inevitable encounter ever closer. He looked at the kids with a smile, trying to hide his anxiety.

Jonathan Kent threw him a nervous glance, but quickly lowered his head again. Too terrified to utter a single word, he watched the pristine white floor, teeth almost chattering in the anticipation of the punishment. Lena Luthor, sitting next to him, swung her legs, increasingly bored. With a careless expression, she scanned the office, looking for something to busy her brain with.

There was a knock on the door.

The headmaster re-adjusted his tie again, motioning to Lena to get it for him. The girl sprang up from the chair, almost knocking it over, and opened the doors impatiently.

Lex Luthor strolled into the room as if he owned the entire school and only came by to check its condition. He gave the headmaster one long look before his eyes turned to Lena pulling at the sleeve of his custom-made suit. She suddenly tried her best to look utterly miserable and apologetic until a hand landed on her head, gently brushing her hair.

The lights from the ceiling reflected on his smooth scalp, and it looked like he was almost smiling, but as he lifted his eyes from his daughter, his expression turned cold.

‘Good afternoon, mr Luthor.’ mr Amerson greeted, trying his best not to sound intimidated by the presence of one of the most influential men on the planet. After all, this was just the beginning.

‘Not very good, I’m afraid.’ the man replied, obviously displeased that he was forced to drive all the way over here instead of overseeing the trial run of one of his projects. He turned his attention to Jon, and his green eyes narrowed dangerously.

‘Where is he?!’ he slowly demanded to no one in particular.

Jonathan tried to burrow into his chair, scared for his life.

‘You were the first to arrive. Of course, I wasn’t expecting either one of you so soon... It’s just a minor thing, really.’ the headmaster answered carefully, trying to coax his guest into relaxing a little. He gestured to an empty chair in the middle of the room but Luthor just scoffed, ignoring him all together.

Lena pulled at her father’s sleeve again until he reluctantly bent down to let her whisper something urgent into his ear.

The headmaster let out a nervous chuckle, resisting the urge to wipe the sweat running down his forehead. He turned around only to catch Jon’s mouth moving, as if he’d just finished saying something, too quietly for human ears to perceive.

‘I’m sorry, Jon, what was that?’

‘C-could I open… the window for dad…?’ he whispered, this time almost audibly.

Luthor immediately stood up straight, head held high, as if somebody poked him into the back. Lena copied him, a little unsure.  

‘The win-’ the headmaster managed before the air hit the windows full force, almost forcing them out of their hinges, as if a typhoon came knocking. The shock shook the building, knocking over the table lamp and filling the room with the rattling of glass.

A second after that, the thing that might have been just a blurred streak of colour on the horizon zapped into focus right before the glass surface with another gust of wind. The afterimage finally disappeared, leaving only a huge man in a tight uniform floating in front of the window.

Jon was already waiting for him there, turning the handle so eagerly that he ripped it out.

‘Look, up in the sky-’ Lena whispered, nudging her father with a grin.

‘Don’t.’ he cut her off coldly, unamused.

 Superman entered the room, taking in the situation in a matter of milliseconds. He turned to his son who tried to hide the handle behind his back, eyes wet with tears.

‘Right here, Jon.’ Clark said softly, moving in to rub his head but he was grabbed into a tight embrace before he could even try to resist. Reassured, he lifted his head up to meet Luthor’s eyes.

The two of them glared at each other with well-practiced hostility, quite forgetting that they weren’t alone in the room.

‘Ah, mr Kent, glad you could make it with your busy schedule.’ the headmaster spoke up, disrupting their glaring contest. He tried to look professional, but his knees were shaking visibly.

‘We tend to enter through the doors, here on Earth.’ Lex added. It was almost their greeting by now, with Superman’s impressive track record of breaking and entering.

This time, however, there was no list of evil deeds or supposed offences to recite, so Clark was left only with a single word to grate through his teeth, as he floated few centimetres above the floor. 

‘Luthor.’ 

‘Superman.’ Lena whispered into the quiet of the room, before her father could even open his mouth. Those blue alien eyes turned to her instead and she gulped, quickly hiding behind Luthor. She peeked at him from the safety, cheeks bright red and wide green eyes full of fear and awe.

Clark was seriously torn between crouching down to smile at her gently, and glaring at her father again, just for a good measure. He cleared his throat and put on the serious face he was using for dealings with super criminals.

‘I should have expected that you’d be involved.’ he announced, almost as if delivering a verdict for nothing lesser than the dissolving of the ozone layer.

‘That might mean you’ve beaten your record for jumping to the wrong conclusion for the second time this month.’ Lex replied, eyes narrowed. He walked right next to him, with Lena in tow, to intimidate him from closer proximity.

‘Mr Amerson was just about to tell me all about how your son attacked my daughter.’ he stated casually while turning to look at the headmaster.

 ‘Weren’t you…?’ his smile was polite but his glare threatened with utter destruction of this building and mr Amerson‘s career.

Superman’s eyes turned to the person in question, literally looking right through his ribcage to get at his heart.

The headmaster swallowed, desperately trying to come up with a pleasing answer.

‘I-I do not really… we haven’t found out what happened exactly so…’

‘He was bullying me!’ Lena shouted out, pointing one accusing finger at the boy.

‘Did not!’ Jon shouted back from where he was still grabbing onto his father’s uniform.

‘He laughed at my hair!’

Lex frowned, putting one arm around her protectively.

Superman looked down at Jonathan who guiltily turned his head away.

‘I didn’t say that. It was Damian who- ‘

‘I don’t have hair like McDonald!’ Lena cut him off, stomping angrily, with tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

Luthor got down on one knee, almost falling to the floor head first as she threw her tiny arms around his neck and kept him close.

‘My hair isn’t ugly.’ she said, upper lip shaking as she tried to stop herself from crying.

‘Of course not.’ he whispered softly. It took him two months just to get the colour right, he’d know.

‘You have hair just like your grandma who was-’

‘The prettiest and smartest woman in town. I know dad.’ Lena muttered back, forced to listen to that exactly same sentence every time she had her ginger crisis.

Lex smiled and gently petted her hair. Her grandma might have been somewhat passable physically, but she was a bigoted bitch who married a brainless drunk. Well, not that she’d crawl out of the grave to protest over being reused as a female role model.   

Superman pretended that he wasn’t seeing the entire display, not entirely ready to acknowledge the fact that his nemesis might lead a life that doesn’t centre only around toppling governments and complaining about flying aliens showing up at his balcony at 3am. The fact that he was clearly showing affection to something which didn’t consist of kryptonite was also highly suspicious.

 ‘Luthors don’t cry.’ Lex reminded Lena, wiping her tears. He handed her a tissue and she blew her nose, providing the only sound in the office.

Jon finally let go of his father, gingerly looking over to her. Luthor gave him a quick glare before he stood up and brushed the dust off his trousers.

‘You will apologise.’ he stated the ultimatum, voice cold.

‘But Damian-’ Jon started but his excuse was immediately interrupted.

‘I will get him later.’ Luthor declared in a voice that promised eternal damnation.

‘Jon.’ Superman urged him on, laying one hand on his shoulder.

‘She threw a table at me!’ the boy lashed out and Lena stuck his tongue out at him instead of a reply.

‘A table…?’ Clark repeated, crossing his arms over his chest to give his best ‘What did you do this time, Luthor?!’ impression.

‘Don’t be ridiculous…’ Lex said with a chuckle, but he gave his daughter a sharp glare when he was sure the others weren’t looking.

‘Does she have superpowers?! WHO is her mother?’ Superman demanded, leaning in threateningly. He was close enough to Luthor count all the electrons in the atoms making up his eyelashes.

’I thought you’d know more about my personal life from spying on me all the time. It’s none of your business.’

Clark grit his teeth until they hurt. Of course he’d get a clear answer that wouldn’t let him check to see if he was being lied to.

Lex could feel the heat emanating from his bright red eyes, but he didn’t flinch away, and defiantly stared right into them.

‘The soda machine is damaged too… some chairs were lying on the floor but none of them broken… and the office window right now…’ the headmaster butted in, careful to stay two meters away from them, just in case Superman really did decide to scorch somebody with his heat vision.

‘She threw the soda machine at me too.’ Jon suddenly remembered and got a deadly glare from Luthor as a reward.

‘Luthor.’ Superman hissed through his gritted teeth.

‘He was bullying me!’ Lena pointed out again, annoyed.

‘I’ll foot the bill. Just say the number.’ Lex groaned, pulling out his wallet. Clark hesitated, scratching his neck, suddenly all too meek.

‘Lex, I could-’

‘You work as a journalist and a miserable one at that. We wouldn’t want to ruin you.’

‘The examination is still in progress. We’ll inform you once we estimate all the damage.’ the headmaster said, making himself a mental note to fish out their phone numbers. 

‘And what about our children, will they be suspended?’ Clark asked carefully and Jon’s face went white at the implication.

Luthor’s head snapped around at the mention of ‘their’ children, but judging by Superman’s face, it was just a generalisation, not an actual observation. Lena gave him a quick look, more scared of the punishment from her dad for revealing her powers.

The headmaster looked at Jon and his superpowered father, who saved thousands of people (for free), and deserved all the possible praises and honours he could get. They would conform and respect any punishment given as long as it was lawful and just. Lex Luthor, on the other hand, kept the town up and running with his (usually highly suspicious) investments and could ruin them with one word if they gave his daughter a single bad look.

It didn’t look like he had other choice. He took a deep breath and thought the entire thing three times over before he opened his mouth.

‘It seems like both of them were in a heated situation at least partially caused by Jon, in which an intense flare of emotion caused Lena to manifest her previously hidden powers and led to an unintentional destruction of school property. Seeing that this is a very special case, I’m willing to overlook their behaviour today, if all the damages are compensated.’ he declared, carefully observing their reactions.

‘Exactly. Lena must have been under an exceptionally high emotional pressure. Do give me a call once you have the estimates. I imagine some new projectors would help with the education.’ Luthor replied with a satisfied smirk, glancing at Superman.

‘W-well, …of course they would…’ the headmaster nodded, quite astonished.

Clark didn’t seem so happy that they’d let them off that easily.

‘I understand your reasons, but you need to reconsider this. Miss Luthor certainly knew about her powers and had control over them. And if Jon and Damian Wayne were really laughing at her, especially if they bother her like that often, they should be reprimanded somehow.’ He spoke out in his resonating voice, looking mr Amerson straight in the eyes. Jon hung his head again guiltily.

Lex had to force himself not to roll his eyes at that. How typical.

The headmaster sighed, allowing himself to smile.

‘It wasn’t any blood feud, mr Kent. Kids have fights now and then, growing up. We need to pay extra caution because of their extraordinary talents, but we’re ready for superpowered children at this school. Of course, if the situation ever repeated, there won’t be any exceptions.’

‘Naturally.’ Clark nodded in all seriousness.

‘Jon is a good kid, I know that he wouldn’t hurt others. And Lena…’ Luthor’s eyes shot up, and he dared the man to go on. The headmaster gulped, looking back at Superman instead.

‘I’m sure the boys only tease her to get her attention, isn’t that right, Jon?’ mr Amerson found it in himself to smile at the boy.

Jon went bright red and immediately turned around, embarrassed.

Lex wasn’t impressed. He gave Superman one goodbye-glare before turning to the headmaster. 

‘I’m glad that we finally resolved this. Goodbye, mr Amerson. Let’s get going Lena.’

‘Goodbye headmaster, goodbye mr Superman.’ Lena whispered, and she kept glancing at Clark shyly as Lex led her out of the room.

‘We’ll be on our way too. Thank you, mr Amerson. I promise that it won’t repeat.’        

‘Of course. Goodbye.’ The headmaster nodded at him, completely exhausted.

Superman smiled at him reassuringly as he closed the doors behind him. He looked at Jon who was still unsure if that was the end of it.

‘That wasn’t how you treat a lady.’ Clark commented.

‘She’s not. She’s rude and always argues with the teacher! She’s liar! And she threw a table at me!’ Jon shot back angrily, glaring at her small back as the Luthors walked through the hallways few meters ahead of them.  

‘That’s no reason to be mean to her. You made her cry.’ he continued softly. The little girl seemed quite nice for a Luthor. And it surprisingly didn’t look like Lex neglected her. Oh, here he was getting prejudiced against super-criminals again.

‘It’s not my fault that her hair’s like that.’ the boy pouted. Suddenly, his head shot up and he looked at his father, eyes wide as saucepans.

‘Do you think she’ll get bald too?’ he whispered, scandalised. Superman broke out laughing.

‘No, no, of course not. Girls don’t get bald. And Luthor’s hair fell out after an explosion in his lab.’ he explained carefully and Jonathan drank all of the new information in, fascinated.

 _‘Is he laughing at me, dad?’_ he could hear Lena whisper from afar.

 _‘Of course not honey, he wouldn’t dare.’_ came Lex’s clear voice in reply. The endearment came as a bit of a shock to Clark.

‘Does he make bombs? Is that why he’s evil?’ Jon questioned him further, unaware of the other conversation. His heightened perception still hasn’t fully developed. 

‘Sometimes. And he’s evil because he commits crimes… and hurts others for his personal gain…’

_‘He’s bigger than in your photos.’_

_‘My materials are accurate, that’s just your personal perception of him together with-’_

_‘I know dad, I’m not dumb. I just realised it when I saw him… he’s even taller than you…’_

‘Do they tick?’

 _‘It’s just six extra centimetres. But with his build… and his habit of floating above you…’_ Lex continued with obvious discontentment.

‘No, most of them don’t.’ Clark smiled. Knowing Jon, he could keep at it for hours.

The corridors seemed endless.

_‘…and he’s old?’_

‘Then how come you never get hit?’

 _‘Thirty-three this year. And how was the algebra test today?’_ Luthor tried to change the topic of conversation.

‘I do get hit sometimes. But you just need to look carefully.’

‘So you don’t go pow.’ Jon deduced and Superman chuckled at the comment, ruffling his hair.

_‘That’s not that old… forty-five…’_

_‘But I said thirty-‘_

_‘I know…’_

‘So you don’t go pow.’ He agreed.

They finally left the building. He could see a black car already waiting for the Luthors. It seemed like Lena still had some questions to ask.

_‘And dad, when I’m old… but younger than you…’_

‘And dad, on Christmas… do you look what’s inside the presents?’

 _‘…can I marry him?’_ Lena whispered, looking up at her father nervously.

Both Lex and Clark stopped walking at the same moment, frozen up with shock.

Jon stopped too, looking back at his father in confusion.

‘Do you?’ he asked again, oblivious.

Mr Amerson looked out of his window, but quickly backed away when he saw that something in the situation has changed.

Lena went bright red and glanced back at Superman. When she found him staring at her in disbelief, her head snapped right back.

‘ _Did he hear me, dad?_ ’ she whispered nervously.

‘ _He did. And you can’t. I’ll be sure to kill him before you grow up. Now, get in the car.’_ Lex managed, voice taut.

‘Dad, are you listening to me?’

Lena’s face turned white and she quickly entered the car, hanging her head sheepishly.

‘Are you listening to them talking? You shouldn’t be doing that…’

Luthor shut the doors and got into the passenger seat. However, this time, he made sure to avoid looking in Superman’s direction.

‘…I know… I can’t block all the things out…’ especially since he was used to tuning in to Lex’s voice to hear at least a part of his evil schemes. Was that considered as spying? Breach of privacy?

The engine started and the car drove off, leaving the two of them standing on the paved road to school. Jon’s eyes followed it for some time before he turned back to Clark with a frown.

‘But do you look at the gifts dad?’  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idea for this just crawled inside my head and I couldn't help myself.  
> Of course Lex would make himself another Superman baby because really, he couldn't let that opportunity pass, but shh, it's a secret, not even Lena knows yet!  
> And as always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! :D


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex smiled and brushed her hair, careful not to mess her hairstyle. It seemed like he was getting better at weaving twin braids, even though it still ate up most of his morning. It also made him grateful that he was bald which was a small miracle.
> 
> ‘You know that you just need to call and I’ll level this place to the ground, right?’ he tried to reassure her, ignoring all the concerned stares from the other parents.  
> Lena sighed, readjusting the straps on her bag. 
> 
> ‘Dad, you’re embarrassing me!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... I'm turning this into a multichapter work, but I honestly suck at updates so you're in for a ride.  
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments so far! :D

The giant entrance hall of the school was teeming with people, each one of them forcing their way in another direction. There were the security guards, slowly walking around in their bulletproof vests with guns and batons hanging from their hips, looking just about ready to face anything from drunk guests to an alien invasion. They usually stayed quiet, trying to stay out of the way, but the teachers were worse. Each one of them went on with their regular morning jog to the nearest coffee machine but they never seemed to get there in time since they just had to stop to chat to all the people they met along the way. They were especially fond of stopping in the middle of the corridor and getting in the way. But the worst of them all were the students. They called out to one another, flailing their arms around, and they wouldn’t stop running in the hallways. Some of their parents were still trailing behind them, saying quick farewells and memorising the faces of their children just in case they wouldn’t get to see them again since the buildings in Metropolis had a tendency to blow up every other Tuesday.

Lex Luthor found himself taking Lena to school today, even though he didn’t have any detonations scheduled. It was true that he still had entire boxes of test-tubes worth of important adult things to do, but he couldn’t just leave her alone with all those hypocritical idiots with diplomas and the brainless tyrants that most children turn out to be. Including a certain Jon Kent.

‘If he says a single wrong word, just drag him back to the headmaster.’ Lex started on the subject, dragging Lena aside.

‘You can toss something at him but don’t leave traces or witnesses, alright?’ 

Lena didn’t even bother to look at him, scanning the crowd for familiar faces.

‘Insult him back, abuse his weak points.’

‘I know dad.’ she grumbled back. When it came to her father, self-defence seemed to be the most popular topic for lecture, right next to alien threats.

‘If you’re that worried you could just give me some kryptonite.’

Lex’s eyes immediately widened in alarm. He leaned in, grabbing her small shoulders to get her to look at him.

‘You will **never** touch that thing. Are we clear on that?!’

Lena, scared by the urgency in his voice, just managed a weak ‘Alright.’, looking straight into his narrowed eyes.

‘Good.’ he replied with obvious relief, giving her a quick hug. He made himself a mental note to change the security codes to his laboratory and add some lead shielding around Lena’s room. Or maybe all the rooms since he didn’t feel like throwing Superman any more clues. Thank god that his head was too full of righteousness and justice to leave some space for deduction.

‘Do I get points deducted for that?’ she asked, pouting. Her hypothetical marriage with Superman costed her 20 yesterday. She still had enough to get permission to eat ice-cream for breakfast (it was only 28 points) but she wanted to save up for ‘week without school’ or ‘doodle on the walls’. ‘Ask me one question that I have to truthfully answer’ didn’t seem like such a good choice after her dad refused to answer who her mother was. ‘I’m your mother.’ wasn’t even all that funny the first time.

‘No, it’s the perfect solution to your problem. It’s just that this is… a special situation that I’ll explain when you’re older. But you’re starting to think like a Luthor. I’ll give you two points.’

Lena’s frown deepened. She hated ‘special situations’, there was no point arguing about them, she’d tried. But two points weren’t bad.

‘Okay, dad.’

Lex smiled and brushed her hair, careful not to mess her hairstyle. It seemed like he was getting better at weaving twin braids, even though it still ate up most of his morning. It also made him grateful that he was bald which was a small miracle.

‘You know that you just need to call and I’ll level this place to the ground, right?’ he tried to reassure her, ignoring all the concerned stares from the other parents.

Lena sighed, readjusting the straps on her bag.

‘Dad, you’re embarrassing me!’

‘Opinions of these idiots don’t matter.’ this said while looking directly at the P.E. teacher, who wasn’t bold enough to disagree.

Lena frowned in agreement, itching to move from that spot in the corner. The class started in two minutes.

‘I should be going.’

‘Okay, honey, make me proud.’ Lex stepped back but then a realisation lit up on his face.

‘Or don’t. I won’t… pressure you…’ he managed, face taut with concentration. That should be better for the development, right? It was hard not having a partner that’d take all the responsibility, but he’d probably end up throwing them off a skyscraper after their second argument. And that certainly didn’t seem beneficial for child’s mental health.

He turned to Lena, thoughtful.

‘Is it bad that I’m having you study three foreign languages at this age?’

‘Luthor is never wrong. Bye dad.’ she announced before she turned around and hurried away.

‘Be careful!’ he called out after her and she just waved one arm dismissively.

Lex couldn’t help but smile as he watched her dash through the corridor. Somehow, he seemed to be a surprisingly good parent so far.

 

 

‘You’re late, Damian!’ Jon shouted out as soon as his friend climbed down the helicopter ladder.

Damian shrugged and went right past him to the doors. ‘I didn’t tell you to wait for me.’ 

‘You know I do that every morning.’ Jon sighed and followed after him. He hated being late.

‘That’s your stupid decision.’

Damian picked up the pace but soon realised that there were no footsteps behind him. Jon stood there, all white in the face.

‘Okay. I’ll let you play on my PS4…’ still no reaction. He wasn’t going to apologise.

‘X Box one X then…?’

Jon gritted his teeth, alarmed. ‘Keep quiet.’ he hissed, pointing at the school.

Lex Luthor had just exited the building.

Damian snorted. ‘He’s a harmless psycho. My dad could wipe the floor with him.’

‘What if he heard you!’ Jon whispered back, seeing that Luthor homed in on them and started walking.

‘And…?’

‘He hates me already, you don’t have to make it worse! I bet he’s walking around with kryptonite in his pockets!’

 Damian actually looked surprised at that. ‘He did start stocking up on it. That’s because of you?’

‘No…?’ Jon whimpered back, feeling incredibly sick. He was going to face that man alone again, without his dad to save him in time. Maybe he should run while they still had the ti-

Lex Luthor got to Damian, putting one hand on his shoulder in a semblance of goodwill.

‘Planning on going to school, Damian? Isn’t it a little late for that?’ he spoke up with a thin smile, voice cold.  

‘Yeah, we’re late. We don’t have time to stay and chat.’ Damian snapped back, refusing to flinch under that glare.

Jon walked hesitantly closer, prepared to protect his friend, albeit quite reluctantly.

‘That’s good, because I’m not here to chat. It’s just a simple message, really, I’m sure you’d understand.’

Damian tried to shake Luthor’s hand off but it just gripped even tighter, burrowing into his shoulder. Lex leaned in and his smile disappeared almost instantly, green eyes shining with killing intent.

‘Hurt my daughter again and I will cut out your tongue and send it to your father in a giftbox. I don’t care if it’s psychical or physical, if you do it by accident, or if someone forces you to. I will ruin your life.’ he declared with unshakeable conviction.

Damian gulped, unconsciously reaching for his utility belt but he was suddenly released, as if nothing even happened.

Luthor straightened his tie, casually adding ‘Oh, and by the way, I gave your mother contact on one of my lawyers, she wanted to revise the court decision over the child custody. Wish her luck?’ 

‘Screw you.’ Damian growled back, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jon’s hand flew up to cover his mouth. That was definitely on the list of bad words.

‘Proud heir to the Wayne family fortune.’ Lex replied sarcastically. It was obvious enough that he had the upper hand so there was no point in wasting his time on the brat. He turned to leave when his piercing eyes fell on the other boy standing right next to them, awfully quiet.

‘How are you not in the school yet, Jon? Don’t tell me your father would drop you off late after that fiasco yesterday.’ he somehow managed to spit out the word ‘father’ as if it was an obscene insult. Just thinking about Superman made his skin crawl and his head hurt.

‘I… I go by bus when I’m at dad’s.’ Jon replied quietly, playing with his shirt. Judging by Luthor’s expression, however, it wasn’t the answer he expected.

‘By bus?!’ he repeated, as if he had trouble understanding that concept.

‘You know, it looks like a car but longer.’ Damian explained pointedly but went immediately silent when he received a glare that practically spelled TONGUE IN A BOX.

 Lex decided to ignore him and walked over to Jon. The boy visibly flinched when a hand landed on his head. 

‘Make sure not to be late again, alright? You shouldn’t get in trouble, it makes your father look bad.’ he explained as he continued petting his head, enjoying seeing the boy squirm. His hair was soft and dark, with one stray strand of hair that formed a curl above the forehead, just like his father’s. Except for the softness, he never got to verify that.

Jon looked up at him, big blue eyes full of terror and confusion, as if crying out ‘please don’t hurt me’ and Lex was surprised to find out that it played right to his newly discovered father instincts in a very inconvenient way.

He suddenly couldn’t decide if he wanted to scar him for life or adopt him. The child reminded him too much of his father but imagining Superman shaking like that in front of him did wonders for his sky-high self-esteem.

Damian seemed to notice his faraway look because he moved to yank his friend away from him and it took Luthor few seconds to realise that he was petting empty air. He turned around in confusion, frowning at the two of them for interrupting his moment of contemplation. With a sigh, he checked his watch and gestured for them to leave him alone.

‘Run along. And remember the message.’ he said distractedly as he started walking in the opposite direction, ignoring the concerned looks they were giving him.

‘By bus…’ he muttered to himself when they were out of sight, disgusted. Clark has really outdone himself with that one. Squeeze his son into a smelly metal box with all those people stinking of piss and alcohol. People like his father.

He’d never wish that on his child.

 

 

‘Lena, darling, what is that?’ the teacher walked over to her, obviously puzzled by her creation.

Lena lifted her head up from the paper, laying down her marker pen. ‘That’s the floor plan of our skyscraper and a sketch of dad’s summerhouse.’ she stated, proudly looking at her work.

‘It’s lovely… but maybe you should try doing something other than a technical drawing?’

‘But the topic was My house!’   

‘No, it was My home.’

Lena frowned as she grasped that subtle difference and looked at her drawing again. She was ready to argue but getting worked up over something like this would be beneath her. Instead, she simply groaned and handed it over.

‘It’s great, but maybe you can try a different approach since you’re done already? It doesn’t have to be perfect as long as you put your heart into it. Maybe add some colours?’ the teacher suggested with a smile as she took the paper.

‘Alright.’ the girl grumbled, pulling out another blank paper. She couldn’t wait to graduate and start building robots professionally. And not marry superman.

The woman moved on to Damian who seemed to have finished too since he had his legs up on the desk and stared straight ahead.

‘Damian, you did try drawing something this time, I hope?’ she asked slowly, dreading the answer. His entire paper was painted black.

‘It’s confidential.’ Damian replied matter-of-factly. Most of his works were.

The teacher sighed and only managed one resigned ‘of course’ before she turned to Jon sitting next to him, hoping to improve her mood a little.

‘And you Jon? That’s a lovely painting!’

‘That’s when I lived with mum and dad on the other side of the town.’ Jon said, dejected.

She bit the inside of her mouth. Today’s art lesson just wasn’t coming along as good as she expected.

‘I’m so sorry, honey. Do you want to talk about it?’

‘No, that’s okay, I’m used to it.’ he replied, apathetic, and started painting the sky with long, slow strokes of brush.

‘I’m here if you ever need anything, okay?’ she said softly, careful to leave him some space. Jon just nodded, refusing to lift his head up until the teacher left.

Damian turned to him to give him some encouragement, all the while trying to sound equally cool and disinterested. ‘All parents are crap. You’re better off without them.’

‘Mine are great.’ Jon muttered as a reply. He also didn’t like the c word.

‘They were just better together. But I guess you hate your mum so you wouldn’t know.’

Damian shrugged his shoulders, not even bothering to deny that. He definitely wouldn’t want to spend every other week at her place, slitting people’s throats instead of washing the dishes.

‘She’s completely nuts. And she always thinks she’s better than me. Kinda like McDonald junior over there.’ he explained, gesturing towards Lena sitting in front of them. She definitely heard it because she seemed to tense up but at least she’d decided to ignore it.

Jon furrowed his eyebrows, getting uncomfortable. ‘Don’t be mean to her. She hates it when you mention her hair!’ he felt the pit open up in his stomach again, feeding on his guilt. He could see her in the headmaster’s office, tearing up. And worse, he could see himself there, having disappointed his dad for the second time in two days.

‘Are you scared cause mr Big bald will come and get you?’ Damian teased, nudging him with his elbow, but Jon’s frown only deepened. And it wasn’t just that that seemed like a very real threat to him right now.

‘You should say you’re sorry.’ he pointed out, suddenly all too serious.

Damian gave him one annoyed look and was just opening his mouth to prove him wrong when Lena suddenly turned around. Judging by her expression, she was just about ready to start throwing things at them again.

‘You haven’t apologised either!’ she remarked coldly, glaring at him.

‘I-uh…’ Jon managed, embarrassed. He’d forgotten that. Damian chuckled and she gave him a glare too.

Jon took few moments to steady himself before he could look her straight in the eyes.  ‘I’m sorry Lena.’

Lena blinked a few times, incredulous. ‘Hm.’ she replied meaningfully, playing with her hair to calm herself down.

‘Just like your dad.’ Damian grumbled, already dreading the day when his friend puts his red pants on.

‘I’ll grow up just like my dad.’ Jon declared proudly, but his cheeks went bright red.

‘Then I’ll have to kill you.’ Lena deadpanned.

‘B-but we… we could be friends!’ he stuttered out, trying to hide his disappointment. Damian, meanwhile, grinned wildly, trying to stifle his laughter at how ridiculous his friend sounded, trying to appeal to a Luthor.

Lena seemed just as surprised at that strange solution.

‘We could?’ she asked slowly, highly suspicious.

‘Yeah. We could.’

She looked at Jon for a long time as if calculating all the odds before she nodded. It wasn’t like she had anything to lose.

‘Then we are friends now.’ Lena commanded and all of Damian’s good mood seemed to have evaporated.

‘You’re what…?!’  

 

 

Conner Kent just got off the bus and walked home on autopilot, bored beyond belief. It’s been five days and no Titan business showed up.

He reached the front gate before he realised it and glared at it for a while before he decided to force himself to open it. He could hear Krypto barking in the house, itching to greet him, but knowing full well that chewing through the door again wasn’t acceptable.

He crossed the yard with long tired steps, feet trailing in the mud.

Ma and Pa Kent were in the house, whispering to each other in hushed tones, alarmed. There was a shiny new car parked right before the garage. He had a test from Calculus next week. He missed Cassie.

Wait, they had a new car?!

He did a double take but it wasn’t a hallucination.

He dashed over to it, running a hand over its hood affectionately. He knew that Pa’s truck broke down recently, but it didn’t seem unrepairable, and this definitely didn’t look like it could replace it. It was just a small car, normal enough not to stand out in a town like Smallville, but with gorgeous bright red paint to make an impression. He loved it, so something definitely had to be wrong with it.

It seemed like this new car just drove over here from nowhere, and there was surprisingly no evidence that it was an alien in disguise or a sophisticated trap. When he looked inside, he found the keys in the ignition.

Not suspicious at all.  

‘Okay. This might just kill me.’ he muttered to himself as he opened the door but couldn’t stop himself from grinning.

The car was even better on the inside. It’s front panel was stuffed with enough shiny controls and buttons to operate a space rocket, and it definitely looked like he’d have to call Tim just to figure out how to turn the radio on.

He almost melted into the driver’s seat, trying not to make any embarrassing sounds because that was the most comfortable thing he’s ever sat down on.

He so wanted the car to be a completely harmless gift sent from a higher power.

Uh-oh. There was a note on the passenger’s seat. Conner slowly picked it up, frowning at the message written on it.

 

_I hope you can drive. You’re a failure but you share 52% of my DNA and I didn’t bring you into this world so you’d waste your time using public transport._

_If you wreck it (or if it happens to explode on it’s own) you don’t get a new one._

_LL_

 

Okay… he didn’t love the car anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly just pulling out the stuff I want from any and all the timelines, hence the living-breathing pa Kent and it won't end with that (just a fair warning).  
> And in case you're wondering, Lena gets points for exhibiting any traits desirable for a Luthor. Build an AI? points! Study Kryptonian anatomy? points! Lie to your father? points if done successfully. But sometimes she gets points for simply existing because Lex loves spoiling her.


	3. Chapter three

It was 9:16 in the evening and Lex finally put his very reluctant daughter to bed. He collapsed into his leather chair, glad to finally have some alone time with his reports and a bottle of cognac, when somebody knocked on the window of the penthouse.

There was only a handful of people capable of loitering outside of his balcony on the 38th floor and only one of them would dare. He poured himself a glass and took the time to drink it up. He found that the drunker he got, the more tolerable Superman became and the harder it was for the Kryptonian to tolerate him in return.

The knocking came again.

Luthor rubbed his temples, feeling his good mood evaporating. The fact that Superman waited to be allowed in meant that they were in for quite a long tedious conversation as opposed to the usual short heated argument. At least it meant less damage to the building though.

‘I hope you came to apologise about my secret facility in Indonesia.’ he stated with his back turned, as if talking to someone closer than 6 meters away and filled his glass again.

‘Do you have any idea how much money you cost me?!’ he went on, letting some of the anger bleed into his voice. There was no reply.

He turned the chair around and they came face to face.

Superman was still floating outside of the penthouse, hands crossed over his chest, immobile except for his ridiculous bright red cape which fluttered in the cold wind. His face looked like it’s been carved from stone, lifeless except for his two shining eyes.

He didn’t look very happy. Not like he could properly convey it though, since there was no way Luthor could hear him through the glass unless he’d start shouting.  

He took a deep breath and knocked on the window again. It crackled under his knuckle, white lines spidering across the glass.

Lex let out an annoyed groan, rising to his feet.

‘That glass could stop a missile.’

Superman at least had the dignity to look slightly guilty and he hung down his head.

Luthor entertained the idea of waiting until the alien’s patience runs out and he breaks in, but he had enough of games for today. He walked over to the balcony and unlocked the security doors to let him in.

Clark flew into the house, stopping right next to Lex.

The two of them glared at each other until Superman sighed and descended down to the floor, deflated. He shook his head, as if mocking their usual greeting ritual, and headed over to the sofa, seating himself down without any permission.

Luthor blinked in surprise. His privacy was violated again but this time in an oddly intimate manner that went against their habits. Clark usually avoided touching anything of his unless absolutely necessary, as if he was afraid it could blow up in his face. And to be honest, Lex used to have a lot of safety measures all around the house, sensors that would get triggered by a single flake of Kryptonian skin, but he had to get rid of all of that since he decided to raise Lena. He was starting to regret it now.

His archenemy was currently presently pressed flat against his sofa, fighting the urge to express his delight in a series of very awkward and out of place sighs.

‘I never knew something could be so comfortable.’ he admitted after a while and it was obvious that he’d forgotten what he even came for in the first place.

‘You grew up in a barn.’ Luthor pointed out dryly as he seated himself opposite him and Clark shrugged, seeing some truth in that.

‘What do you want?!’ he asked, irritated. He felt vulnerable without a box of kryptonite in his pocket, but it didn’t feel right to take it with him when he went to read Lena another part of Iliad before she went to sleep. His family life seemed to be filled with inconveniences. 

Superman’s eyes snapped back to focus and he cleared his throat, getting back to business. He produced a wrinkled square of paper, holding it in front of his eyes.

Luthor didn’t need to read it. It was the note he’d left in the car on the Kent farm. It wasn’t the thing that worried him the most.

‘You don’t have any pockets.’ he observed, confused.

‘That’s not the issue right now.’ Clark replied, slightly put off.

‘Do you think you could just buy Conner off like that?!’ he snapped back with all of his righteous anger.

‘It’s a gift. I expect nothing in return except for a peace of mind.’ Luthor said curtly. He was still holding his glass in one hand and took another sip from it to numb his annoyance.

‘You don’t believe in altruism.’

‘I don’t believe in making my children use public transport.’

Clark blinked twice in amazement, trying to process that.

‘Are you serious?’

Lex shrugged his shoulders and his stomach sank with the sudden realisation that he had no acceptable motivation for his actions. ‘I hate buses.’ he admitted quietly.

Apparently though, that wasn’t the thing that shocked Clark the most. It was how casually he called him his child without realising it.  

‘You tried to use Kon as a weapon of mass destruction. That’s not what a parent would do.’ Superman pointed out while closely observing his face, as if waiting for a reaction. His anger seemed to give a way to some curious hopeful notion.

‘I’m new to parenting and expressing my affection in a non-aggressive way.’ Luthor replied with a glare as if daring him to question that.

‘So you honestly care about Conner?’ Clark drew out slowly, looking him straight in the eyes with the intensity of a pyrotechnician analysing a bomb.

‘Of course not!’ Lex interjected immediately.

He felt like he was at one of those appointments with his psychiatrist again.

No, doctor Haldane, Rorschach test is really just blotches of colour. No, doctor Haldane, me ‘uniting’ my DNA with Superman isn’t an expression of my desire to have an intercourse with him, it’s a scientific experiment. I think I know a bit more about genetics that you ever will and if you repeat ‘denial’ one more time, you will one day leave the stove on and get accidentally blown to bits when you come back home to warm your lasagne. What do you mean you’ve never eaten lasagne?!

‘The entire project was an absolute failure. He turned out just like you except he had all the potential to be so much more which makes it even more annoying.’

‘His DNA doesn’t predetermine anything.’ Superman stated, puffing out his chest like he was just about to start his sermon about all the peculiarities that make people who they are and how precious each and every life is.

‘Easy for you to say, he knows how to mimic most of your powers. But don’t tell me that he never even thought about constructing a micro black hole generator.’

Clark sighed, scratching his head, and gave him a surprisingly compassionate look. It didn’t look like he was going to like what he had to say. He leaned in and when he spoke up again his voice was surprisingly soft, as if he was trying to placate him already.

‘He almost failed chemistry.’

The news hit Lex harder than he expected. He gasped, appalled.

Clark slowly nodded, reaching out to clasp his hands in reassurance before he realised that he shouldn’t appear that eager to help a person who tries to kill him on a weekly basis, especially since Lex would find a way of ridiculing him for it later.

‘How… how is that even possible…?!’ Luthor managed to say after a while with his breathing still uneven.

‘He’s not like you or me, he’s his own person, but that is exactly the reason why you can grow attached to him. Just like to Lena.’   

Lex grumbled, annoyed that Superman would bring up her name like that. He was fully aware that he now had an obvious weakness for him to abuse. He’d tried to keep the news about her minimal, hoping that Clark wouldn’t butt in and start patronising him about his newly discovered capacity for love. It was too late for that now though. He recognised Clark’s look, those gentle eyes contradicting his stern expression, the way he straightened his spine, he knew what he was about to say before he even opened his mouth.

‘There is something good in you, Lex.’ he announced, looking him straight in the eyes.

‘That would be the cognac.’ Luthor groaned, downing his glass. He was tired of hearing the same thing over and over but Clark was impossible to discourage, as usual.

‘Just admit it to yourself. You couldn’t bear the thought of our child suffering.’ he pressed on, absolutely convinced.

Luthor opened his mouth and rapidly closed it again, like a fish thrown onto a dry land. He sat the glass down onto his coffee table, unsure of what to do with his hands. He tried looking at anything other than Superman, suddenly all too nervous.

Clark seemed to have realised his mistake too, staring down at the table, lips drawn into a thin white line.

‘Our… child…?’ Luthor repeated, incredulous.

Superman couldn’t think of any reasonable reply for his slip of the tongue, embarrassed.

Lex didn’t realise that his entire project could be accurately summed up in those two words that made him feel conflicting emotions he didn’t even know existed until now. It was a discovery incredibly awkward for everyone involved and what Clark said next, trying to justify himself, made it even worse.

‘But it is our child - you made me have a kid with you. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that was… is? I mean, he’s a great kid but explaining that to my parents…. and the JL…’ he admitted, words dripping with feeling.

Luthor realised, rather embarrassed, that he seemed to have been only focused on the act of creating a life, just because he loved the idea, and didn’t really think about what to do with it afterwards. He threw in a haphazard plan later on when it was too late and he’d slipped through his fingers. It was a big wasted opportunity.

‘Am I supposed to pay you alimony…?’ he said, more to himself than to the other man, feeling a little guilty about using him in that way. Which he had no reason to be, of course. He was the first human to figure out how to grow clones and that deserved some recognition, ethnics be damned.

‘Just… try to remember that you owe it to Conner. He should have been your responsibility. You don’t exactly have to force yourself into doing anything good, just don’t do anything bad to him from now on…’ Superman summarised, standing up. It looked like their awkward conversation was nearing its end, but he still deemed it necessary to remind him what was even considered ‘bad’.

‘…that involves mind control, emotional manipulation, stalking, and everything that even indirectly harms him in any way and no more potentially dangerous presents until this is settled…’ 

‘I think I’m smart enough to understand that.’ Luthor pointed out coldly, still feeling very unlike himself.

‘You should be, but I won’t take any chances with- .’ Clark suddenly stopped in the middle of the sentence and his head snapped to the side, eyes wide with alarm, as if he caught sight of Doomsday heading their way. Lex felt his heartrate jump up, mentally going through the list of LexCorp security measures before he registered that Superman was still standing there, immobile.

With a sigh, Luthor realised that this was something much, much worse.

‘Okay Lena, that’s ten points down.’ he called out to the empty hallway in an authoritative voice, hands on his hips.

Lena’s head poked out from behind a flowerpot, pouting. ‘But dad!’

‘You know the rules. No eavesdropping on superhero business.’ he reminded her coldly and she hung her head dejectedly and slowly walked over to them, barefoot.

She looked up at Superman, as if trying to guess if he could be persuaded to stand up for her. Clark scratched his head, embarrassed that she heard most of their conversation without him noticing, but he didn’t have the heart to be strict with her when she made those puppy eyes at him.  

‘I thought you were asleep.’ Luthor admitted with yet another sigh, keeping his stern expression.

‘I heard you talking.’ Lena whispered, tugging at the rim of her pyjamas nervously.

‘I have a brother…?’ she asked, confused.

‘I’ll explain it to you later, it doesn’t change anything. Go back to sleep.’ Luthor commanded angrily, raising his voice. Lena jerked back, both guilty and scared, but hesitated to leave. Her eyes darted back to Superman.

‘That means you’ll never talk about it again. Dad, please.’ she spoke up in tiny voice, knowing all too well that her father always felt bad about scaring her like this. She didn’t have to do much acting though. He could get pretty terrifying when it came to ‘business’ but all of that was rarely aimed at her.

Luthor’s face went soft for an instance but it quickly froze over again.

‘I will tell you tomorrow.’

‘Tell me now!’ she shouted out, frustrated.   

Lex just crossed his arms over his chest, determined on keeping his secrets safe, even more so when it touched his daughter.

Superman seemed to have a different idea, unable to refuse her help. It only took one tearful glance from Lena and his mouth started moving on its own.

‘Yes, you have a brother.’ he said softly.

‘A half-brother.’ Lex corrected curtly, glaring daggers at him.

‘His name is Conner Kent… or Kon-El.’ Superman went on and pulled out his wallet. He offered Lena one of the small photos he kept there, smiling at her.

She looked at his giant outstretched hand with an air of uncertainty, glancing at her father. His face was completely white as he gritted his teeth, but it seemed that his fury was addressed only at Clark. She gingerly took the small square of paper.

It was a photo of a teenager hugging his white dog with a wide grin that showed all of his teeth.

Lena frowned at the picture with obvious displeasure.  

‘He’s old.’ she noted, disappointed, and wrinkled her small nose.

Lex huffed, trying not to smile. The tension seemed to have left him and he pulled her to his side, ruffling her hair. He loved all the faces that she could pull in a manner of seconds.

‘Why isn’t his hair red if he’s your son?’ she asked, daring to look up at him.

‘He didn’t turn out very great.’ Luthor admitted with a grin, only half-joking.

‘He looks just like Superman.’ she observed, comparing Conner to Clark.

‘But you can’t have a kid. You’re both men.’ she went on, looking at them intently as if she was trying to catch them lying.

Superman cleared his throat. Well, this evening was getting more and more awkward. Lex looked over to him with a scowl. This one was on him.

Clark leaned down to Lena with a sigh, forcing himself to remain calm and composed.

‘You see, when two men don’t get along well, one of them might decide to… magic a son out of their… hairs?’ he managed to say without groaning, cheeks red. There wasn’t any reasonable way to dumb genetics down enough for children to understand.

Lena looked straight at him, impassive, and just lifted one of her small eyebrows as if doubting his sanity. With a frown she turned to her dad as though expecting an explanation that actually made sense.

‘I grew Conner in Cadmus labs out of our combined DNA.’ Lex summed it up dryly, not bothering with the birds and bees talk.  

‘Oh, I see.’ Lena, to Clark’s utter surprise, seemed very satisfied with the answer.

‘Can I visit him?’ she asked immediately, eyes shining.

‘No.’ ‘Yes.’ Lex and Clark said at the same time before turning to one another with a frown.

‘Yes.’ ‘No.’ they tried again with the same result.

Superman finally decided and smiled at Lena.

‘You can come visit him any time you like.’     

 

 

‘Yeah, I know Conner.’ Jon nodded absentmindedly while he rummaged through Lena’s bag to fish out all the things she requested.

‘He’s on the farm with grandma and grandpa. And Krypto.’ he remembered with a grin. He really wanted a dog too.

‘And is he… nice…?’ Lena asked, a little unsure. She still had the photo that she got yesterday stashed safely in her pocket, but every time she wasn’t directly looking at it, it felt like she might have misjudged him or like he’d changed into a monster.

‘Kinda. But he’s always at school or helping out the Titans. And he has a girlfriend.’

‘And he hates my dad.’ she added with a frown, propping her head on her elbow.

‘Every superhero hates your dad.’ he pointed out helpfully.

‘Because they don’t know what’s good for them.’

Jon started sharpening her pencils with utmost care, ignoring her thoughtful expression.

‘So we’re related.’ she announced after some reflection.

Jon moved on to cleaning her rubber, but he paused to look up at her, puzzled.

‘How are we related?’

‘You’re a half-brother of my half-brother.’

‘But both of our parents are different.’ he protested.

‘So are the parents of you and your cousins.’ she demonstrated the fault in his logic, obviously very pleased with herself.

‘What is your dad to me then… Uncle…? Uncle Clark….’ she tried how the words felt on her tongue.

‘I’m not calling your dad uncle Lex.’

‘Of course you aren’t. That’d be suicidal.’

‘You’re right.’ Jon mused, already thinking about something else.

He turned to Damian sitting two rows behind them, at the desk that used to be his desk too. He was glaring at them the entire time, grinding his teeth with the effort to appear completely indifferent.

‘Can’t… we go sit next to Damian? He’s my friend too…’ Jon offered carefully, turning back to Lena.

She threw Damian a single look and shook her head resolutely.

‘I think I officially hate him until he apologises. We’re staying here.’ she declared and went back to drawing the Luthor and Kent family trees that only ever connected in one spot, Conner Kent.

‘Can we move to him if he does apologise?’

‘Hmm.’ Lena seemed to give it some thought.

‘Of course not. I don’t see why I should tolerate him.’

Jon sighed, looking back at his friend with a sad expression. He had to endure, Lena asked him to be his friend and he wanted to help her out. She didn’t have any other friends. But neither did Damian. For all his posturing and gloating he only had Jon, and he was only ever good at pushing people away.

Lena tore him out of his reverie with a nudge.

‘You’ll stay here, right? You’re my friend. And maybe cousin.’ she said slowly, carefully judging his reaction.

‘I’m your friend, Lena.’ Jon agreed, smiling at her.

‘Great. Can you sharpen me the blue crayon again?’

 

 

‘What’s with the long face, Damian?’ Bruce called out as he saw his son running up the stairs, eager to disappear into the safety of his room right after coming back from school.

‘I’m practising the ‘brooding bat’ in case you croak tomorrow.’ the boy snapped back, not bothering to turn around.

‘I heard what happened in the school on Monday. Jon took the fall for it.’ he went on, easily catching up to him.

‘He’s a son of the fucking Superman, nobody cares.’

‘Language.’ Bruce reminded him in a firm tone that could stop Bane in his tracks. Damian just rolled his eyes.

‘You’re not getting along?’ he asked, brows furrowed.

Damian averted his eyes, but he did start grumbling, liberating all of his pent-up anger.

‘It’s all because of _Lena_. I bet she’s feeding him kryptonite right now. He’s so stupid.’ the boy spat her name out as if it was a skin disease, frowning all the while.

‘I take it she’s not as cute and harmless as Clark told me?’ Bruce taunted him with a grin but the rest of his body tensed up on an instinct. According to his sources, Luthor killed half of the articles that mentioned her before they were even released, and the only reliable information about her came from five years ago, when he’d announced her existence to the world. A daughter he had with a woman whose existence seemed to have started nine years ago and ended shortly after Lena’s introduction.

‘She’s a freak! She managed to beat up Jon, I bet Luthor’s doping her with something! …And she’s smarter than me!’ Damian complained loudly, only hesitating with the last part since it hurt his pride like nothing else.

‘And now she’s glued to Jon all the time. She’s totally planning something!’ 

Bruce gave him an understanding look, patting his shoulder.

‘Talk that over with Jon then. Or make some new friends. It’ll go easier if you lighten up a little.’    

‘Ugh. Thanks for being useless.’ the boy groaned and headed for his room resolutely.

‘I’m here if you need any-’ Bruce started only to get interrupted when the doors slammed shut with a loud thud.

‘He’ll… grow out of it…’ he muttered to himself, turning around on his heels. His head was full of all the snippets of information collected on Lena Luthor and the wheels kept turning faster and faster. The girl lifted up a soda machine. 700 pounds. Clark thought that she came from one of Luthor’s disastrous meta-human affairs. It was obvious that he would have her mother killed either way and if she’d been a spy sent against him that might explain the lack of information on her.

He slowly descended to the cave, lost in thought. The batcomputer found nothing on her. He opened the file on Lena instead. There was her birth certificate, which could have been falsified, some banned articles about her behaviour in school, a wild tabloid speculation on her mother, and a page about the NASA design competition that she won despite the fact that she was too young to even compete in it.

He enlarged one of the photos. The journalists seemed to have caught Luthor off guard as he was exiting the LexCorp tower, walking hand in hand with Lena who gave them a shy smile.

He zoomed in on her face. The expression seemed incredibly familiar. It was how Clark Kent would smile during the gala evenings.

He did a doubletake, rubbing his eyes.

It had to be a coincidence.

Making a boy out of two sets of male DNA was difficult enough, but to somehow grow a girl out of them was simply impossible.

Still, all of his instincts were telling him the exact opposite.

He compared her photo to Clark’s and Jon’s pictures. There was a certain resemblance, except for her almond eyes, high eyebrows, and the hair. Red hair was a recessive trait. He wouldn’t know if the El bloodline was a carrier, not without a prior research, but if Lena was really half-kryptonian, Luthor might have spent years trying to perfect her.

But it would explain the LexCorp inactivity in its quasi-legal projects. Luthor’s been buying out all the kryptonite he could get from the black market with nothing to show for it. No spike in activity, no new weapon prototypes, no new direct attempts at Superman’s life. Even the secret facility that got targeted by Ra’s al ghoul and destroyed in the subsequent fight with the JL seemed abandoned. Luthor was laying low.  

It was enough to convince him.

Bruce rubbed his eyes again and pulled out his phone.

He dialled Lex’s number and tried to think back to the time when he first met him at the university years ago. When he could pretend that he would grow out of trying to control everything around him. He put on his ‘careless billionaire playboy’ face at the second ring.

He finally picked up.

‘Hi Lex, how’s the business!’ Bruce chirped in, not bothering to wait for any confirmation that it wasn't his secretary who picked up the phone.

‘I’m busy Bruce.’ came the cold reply, but that only spurred him on to talk louder and more energetically. 

‘Aren’t we all? I’m super busy right now too, but how about I fly over to Metropolis real quick. I could be there in two hours. You see? It’s all about time management, I could give you some tips.’

‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Airplanes tend to explode around here.’

‘Ha! You’re a funny guy Lex! But think about that, it’s been years since I came over for a visit. I haven’t even seen that cute daughter of yours!’

There was only silence on the other side, but Bruce imagined that he could hear Luthor gritting his teeth.

‘What was her name? Lily, Lucy… Luna…? I swear you got a thing for Ls. Kinda like that Kent reporter you like. You know that he dated both Lana Lang and Louis Lane? What the hell is up with the names?!’

‘Bruce…’ Luthor started in a tone that made your blood run cold but Bruce went on as if he couldn’t take the hint even if you punched him in the face with it. It was one of the things he loved most about this alter ego.

‘How did you even score the kid in the first place? I mean… you’re not the type to go around the bars, knocking up random ladies… Unless they’re totally out to kill you, right? That does it for you?’ granted, Bruce Wayne didn’t make a good investigator, but it did seem to irritate Lex, which was a definite plus.

‘I really don’t have the time for this.’

‘Don’t hang up! I’m sorry, okay? I swear I’m not judging you… except for that Brainiac business, that was fucking weird. But hey, how’s the girl?’

‘What’s the entire point of this conversation?!’ Luthor cut in, still trying to keep his voice level.

‘You tell me! I mean, I almost forgot you even had a kid! It’s like somebody went around erasing her from existence! I bet she’s a redhead. Damn, redheads are cute! I remember your kid photos, the-‘ 

‘Stop with the act or I will hang up.’

Bruce felt the smile slip from his face. His voice suddenly lost all of it’s previous warmth and cheerfulness and reverted to the one that felt the most natural to him in this situation. He’d let Batman handle this.

‘You went ahead and cloned him again. What’s the master plan this time?’      

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Don’t play dumb, Lex.’

He could hear him shifting in his chair. He’ll get up and start pacing around like he always does with important calls. There was still no answer, which was as good as an agreement.

Bruce felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

‘You can’t raise a child. You’ll slip up and end right behind the bars again. It’s in your nature.’ Bruce pressed on, hitting him where he knew he’d be vulnerable.

‘I will raise her right. I don’t care if it doesn’t happen to be your kind of right.’ Luthor snapped back but he quietly added, almost as a request:

‘Don’t tell him.’

‘I can’t guarantee you anything.’

‘Would you look after her?’

The sudden change of Luthor’s tone surprised him. It was the same tone he used when he told him about Clark, all those years ago, except this time, it lacked the usual bitterness. Even worse, this had to be the first time that Lex planned any countermeasures in case of his failure.

‘I don’t want her dragged off to Cadmus.’ he went on, breaking the tense silence.

‘He would take care of her.’ Bruce brusquely dodged the question.

‘He would dump her on his parents. He’d keep his distance.’

‘He was right, something is up with you.’ he frowned, genuinely concerned.

If Luthor was playing him, and the probability of that wasn’t exactly low, then he’s recently mastered some new tricks and they were in for a ride. On the other hand, if he really meant what he was saying, then it might end up even worse. People didn’t get through to him often, but when they did, Luthor would move heaven and earth for them any time they asked.

‘It doesn’t influence my judgement.’

‘Is that why you threatened my son?  Because you weren’t influenced in the slightest?’ Bruce retorted sharply. It was hard convincing himself to stop bugging his kids when there were maniacs on the loose who would beat them to death, laughing. It was still a bad habit though, he'd admit that.

‘You better keep him on a tight leash. I don’t make empty promises.’ 

‘I know you good enough. Funny thing is, Superman genuinely believes that he’ll drag you to the good side.’

Lex went silent for a while as if he struggled with finding the right answer.

‘He was born delusional.’ he finally grunted, hanging up.

Bruce sighed and leaned back in his chair, not feeling the slightest relief. This will either turn up really good or really really bad.

Maybe he should check if Damian hasn't managed to burn down the house yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit of a mess, but hey, I'm back!  
> And of course Lena couldn't resist eavesdropping, especially when it was something concerning 'uncle Clark'. And she even got a brother out of it too!  
> Honestly, I think Conner might have been quite a shock for Superman since Lex basically went 'Here, I made us a son. Don't you love him?'. Nobody is ready to raise teenagers!  
> I went with the 'Lex and Bruce went to uni together' route though I can't for the life of my remember where I got that from. Help, anyone?


	4. Chapter four

‘I’m ready.’ Lena announced, smiling happily.

‘Ready for what?’ Lex mumbled, still half asleep, from where he was lying on the sofa, legs sticking out over the armrest. He couldn’t sleep last night because Bruce fucking Wayne knows now so he spent his afternoon burning and burying everything related to the project that got him Lena. He didn’t get much sleep the night before that either because of Superman’s surprise visit and the talk about ‘their children’. It gave him nightmares.

The last four days in general were exhausting. Two of the trinity had their eyes on them, he half expected Wonder woman to show up any minute and criticise his parenting, and now Lena woke him up, dragging her pink suitcase into the living room just as soon as Mercy got her home from school.

‘Ready for the Kent farm.’ she announced.

‘Enemy territory.’

‘But you agreed to take me there today!’

‘In two hours.’

‘Dad!’

‘Okay, okay, I’m getting up.’ he groaned, resigned to his fate. This was all Superman’s fault anyway, interfering with his parenting. Granted, Lena would have been sulking in her room for days just to force him to tell her something about Conner, but if he survived that, their lives would go on without the Kents for a while longer. And he wouldn’t ever have to return to that decrepit hellhole that was Smallville.

He finally sat up and let out a yawn, running a hand down his wrinkled shirt.

Lena gave him a wide smile, eyes shining with anticipation. She wouldn’t stop bouncing around the sofa, too excited to keep still.

Lex couldn’t help smiling back. He looked down at the suitcase, quickly declaring ‘It isn’t a sleepover. You’re fine with the essentials.’

‘But I packed all the stuff you told me to pack if I ever leave the house. Three days’ worth of food and water, GPS, compass, whistle, flashlight, first aid kit, some paracord, lighter, money, change of clothes, bulletproof vest, pepper spray and a knife… oh, and my phone…’

 He blinked in surprise. Of course, he wouldn’t have imagined that he’d let her out into the dangerous world a mere week before. Kents were many things but they were certainly harmless, annoyingly so.

‘Well, I might have said that… you can take it with you then…’ he yawned again.

‘Mercy’s waiting for us in the car.’

Why was he even surprised by that?

‘I need to change.’

‘And tell them we’re coming over.’ Lena suggested.

‘Ugh, no. I’m not doing that.’ Lex shuddered with disgust. It was enough to just picture their faces and he got queasy. He still remembered how they looked at him when Clark brought him home for the first time, like he was a particularly dirty stray dog starved for love. Superman still looked at him that way sometimes, like he just needed a hot bath, cuddles and a vaccine. It was beyond humiliating.

‘But what if they’re not home when we arrive!’

‘All the better.’

Lena pouted, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

‘Just so you know, if that happens it doesn’t count as a visit and you owe me a bucketful of cookie dough ice-cream.’

‘It’d be well worth it.’ he complained weakly before Lena grabbed him by the arm and dragged him up.

‘C’mon dad, you promised.’

 

 

It took two hours to get to Kansas in their jet and Lex dropped on the bed and fell asleep before they even took off. Lena got bored of watching the tv and shook him awake as they were landing. She’d managed to eat up the packet of hardy candy he got her to help with the pressure in her ears, and her tongue and lips were bright green. 

‘How long till we get to the farm?’ she asked when they were going down the airplane stairs, looking around with eyes like saucers, as if she’d landed on Mars and not in Kansas.

Lex’s body was still warm with sleep and he shivered in the cold air, walking slowly since his body was still rigid. ‘…just an hour.’

‘Ugh.’ Lena groaned, hanging her shoulders. She hated waiting. He smiled at her, half to console her and half because he was glad for anything that’d dissuade her from coming here again.

Mercy finished unloading the car from the jet and drove up to them. She seemed to be taking the ‘enemy territory’ seriously because she changed out of her usual tight short dress, instead going for a Lexcorp uniform with a bulletproof vest and two guns hanging from her shoulder holsters.

It made Lena anxious and she took Lex’s hand, trying to keep a neutral face.

‘It suits you.’ he stated, walking to his assistant. She gave a curt nod and started loading the luggage into the trunk. There was another suitcase aside from Lena’s, a simple black one. She looked up at her father, frowning.

‘Is that kryptonite?’  

‘Don’t worry about it. I won’t kill anyone unless I have to.’ he gave her a peck on her forehead and ushered her into the car.

‘It’s in two leaden cases.’ Mercy pointed out suddenly, looking him straight in the eyes.

‘Good thinking.’

Lena fastened her seatbelt with a particularly sour expression, glancing at her dad nervously.       

‘Is he dangerous?’

‘Everyone who can bend steel with their bare hands is dangerous. But you don’t need to worry about anything.’ he patted her thigh with a reassuring smile.

Mercy made one last check, finally got into the car, and started the engine.  

‘Well, you’re finally meeting your brother.’ Lex went on, trying to cheer up his daughter. She smiled back, a little sheepishly.

‘Half-brother.’ she corrected him softly.

‘Half-brother.’ he agreed, a bit ashamed that he let the truth slip out that casually.

‘Can you braid my hair, dad?’

 

 

‘Stop it, Krypto! Shut up!’ Conner shouted at the dog for the third time in two minutes, throwing his phone on the bed in a huff. It’d been barking nonstop since a car pulled over at the farm and he was just about done with it.

‘I can’t let you out, you’d fetch the mailman again!’ he shouted at the superpowered animal, making wide gestures as if it could understand his annoyance from them since it didn’t seem capable of reading it on his face.

Krypto suddenly stopped and his ears perked up. He sniffed the air and let out a low growl, scratching at the doors.

Conner watched him with growing unease. He’d only seen him act like this around Luthor.

‘Don’t tell me that he came over today.’

He could hear Ma and Pa Kent opening the front doors to welcome their guest, but their voices came out rather tense.

_‘Clark told us you might come over but we didn’t expect anything that soon.’_

_‘If I’d known that I’d get something better for dinner. It’s just mac and cheese tonight.’_

_‘It’s quite alright mrs Kent, we don’t plan on staying long.’_

Conner gritted his teeth. He’d recognise that cold calculating voice anywhere. He swore under his breath and pushed the dog away so he could open the doors. Even though it’d seemed so eager to get out, now it just sat down on the threshold and started licking its paws.

 ‘Let’s go Krypto.’ Conner urged it on but it just looked up at him with a disinterested expression.

_‘Not even for the dinner?’_

‘You were right. I’m sorry. Good enough?’ he asked brusquely, stopping at the foot of the staircase. The dog seemed to have forgiven him because he slowly got up and followed him, still acting slightly offended.

‘ _At least wait until Clark gets here… We got apple pie.’_

‘Luthor.’ Conner groaned just as soon as he got down to the kitchen and could finally get a look at the intruders.

His eyes landed on Mercy first before they jumped to Lex. He stood out in the old room like a sore thumb with his expensive custom black suit and that horrible purple and green tie. His head snapped around when he heard him speak and he gave him the customary glare, pulling the girl at his side closer to him protectively.

Conner blinked in surprise, he didn’t even notice her before, too focused on the potential danger. Her long red hair was tied into two fishtail braids and she wore dotted leggings with red dress on top. She firmly held onto a pink suitcase, as if she was ready to make a run for it at any second, and his sudden entrance didn’t exactly seem to calm her down. She backed into her father and he pulled his arms around her.

Conner could see her scrutinising him, brows furrowed in thought.

‘You must be Lena… didn’t want to freak you out….’ he noted lamely, scratching his head.

Krypto didn’t seem to share his opinion. He stopped about a meter from them, ears pulled back and teeth bared. Suddenly, he caught a whiff of an entirely different, familiar smell. He looked at Lex and then back at the girl, obviously conflicted. She was a Luthor but smelled like a Kryptonian.

He slowly creeped to her, keeping his head down as if he expected a blow.

‘Call your mutt off.’ Lex ordered, alarmed, watching its every move. He wouldn’t allow anything with sharp dirty teeth anywhere near her.

Mercy took a gun out of her holster in one swift movement and aimed it at its skull.

‘He likes kids. You don’t need to worry.’ Conner quickly pointed out, a little offended that he’d think his dog would ever harm anyone. Well, except for him and the other villains but that was a special case.

Mercy gave him a sharp look as if considering how much of that statement was a lie.

Krypto stuck his head out to sniff Lena’s hand and his wet snout touched her skin.

She giggled and petted its big head before Lex could stop her. The dog leaned in and opened up its mouth in what seemed to be a goofy smile. He wiggled his tail at an astounding speed.

‘It’s adorable.’ she let out a delighted squeal, hugging that mess of white hairs.

‘Alright but don’t put your face near him… ‘

Luthor’s order was instantly ignored and he just stood at the side uselessly, itching to drag her away from that petri dish of transmittable diseases.

Mercy put her gun away with a sigh.

Krypto started to lick Lena’s cheek and she broke out laughing while her father let out a tired groan, pacing around.

‘I told you not to stick your face to him!’

‘it’s alright dad.’ Lena called back carelessly, over the moon.

‘Why don’t you show her to your room?’ Ma suggested, looking at Con, who just shrugged his shoulders in resignation. He didn’t really know what to do with kids.

‘Good idea.’ Lex pulled Lena up from the floor, and she let out a groan in protest when he started brushing off some of the white hairs that stuck to her clothes.

Krypto didn’t move away from her, nudging her hand until she started petting him again.

‘Can we get a dog, dad?’ she asked, beaming.

‘Over my dead body. C’mon honey.’ Lex said curtly, tugging at her arm.  

‘You could leave the suitcase here.’ Martha offered, seeing how Lex refused to part with his. The pink suitcase was already forgotten in the middle of the kitchen.

He grudgingly handed it over to Mercy who accepted it with a curt nod.

‘Should I wait here?’

Luthor just grunted in reply and nudged his daughter to follow Conner up the stairs. The house hasn’t changed in all these years, Clark age 10 still beamed at him from the same old birthday photo he saw on his very first visit here and it made his skin crawl.

‘So, that’s my room.’ Conner admitted a bit shamefully as he opened the doors to the small area. It was crammed with old furniture that, with the exception of the bed and the table, seemed in disuse, judging by the thick layer of dust decorating it. Most of Kon’s things had been deposited on the bed, from his clothes and school bag to a mug of tea balancing on a pile of students books.

Lena made a sour face, tugging both corners of her mouth surprisingly low.

‘It is… kinda…’ she managed through her disappointment and Conner gave her an understanding smile, shrugging his shoulders.

‘Well, it beats labs.’

That didn’t fail to make her feel bad. Alright, maybe it was just that she’d gotten used to a higher billionaire standard, there were definitely worse places to live, but she imagined it’d look more… hero-ish…

She looked up at her father for the confirmation but he wasn’t paying attention. He looked around the familiar room, jaw set and eyes glazed over with unwelcome nostalgia that latched onto him like a leech.

‘Dad…’ she whispered insecurely. Lex turned to her with tense expression.

‘Go on. I’ll give you one hour, then we’re gone.’

‘Okay.’ she replied, attempting to will down the anxiousness that entered her system. She tried to convince herself that she only imagined the fear in his tone.

Conner sat down on his bed, pretending to be relaxed and unbothered but he grit his teeth so hard it hurt.

‘It’s… okay…’ Lena gave her final evaluation, walking over the threshold.

Kon shrugged his shoulders again. The two of them looked at each, guessing who’d dare to speak up first.

Lex didn’t seem to mind the awkward silence because it perfectly fulfilled his expectations. It’d be all for the best if Lena felt uncomfortable and uneasy around the Kent family, after all. He leaned onto the doorframe and tried to stop eyeing all of Clark’s old things that still lay untouched on the shelves.

Krypto seemed to have a different idea. He picked up one of his toys, an old slobbery tennis ball, and dropped it into Conner’s lap. His owner got the cue and showed the ugly thing to Lena.

‘Wanna play fetch?’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. To say that I suck at deadlines would be an understatement but between my essays and Christmas, things got pretty hectic and it didn't exactly help. But hey, after forever and half, I do have a new chapter.  
> I was unsure whether to go for the 'we met each other back in Smallville' route but I couldn't help myself. I'm drawing a lot from Superman Birthright because there's a load of interactions between the two in that one so nothing Smallville inspired, but you can read that however you like.  
> And yes, Lex does have a bed in his jet because I say so. :D


	5. Chapter five

Superman found that getting to Smallville took unbearably long. It was just urgent cases at first. Just as soon as he left Metropolis he flew back in to stop a bank robbery and two car accidents, but then his ear picked up the meowling of a cat stuck in a tree and it spiralled from there. He busied himself with every little thing, the fate of the world seemed to depend on every ball that would hit glass or just went out of bounds. When he realised that he’d been stalling for time he took few painful moments to compose himself.

There was no point in avoiding it. It’s already been two hours since ma called him that they had Lex Luthor in the house. Either he would finally act according to his expectations or he’ll try to wreck the place and kill everyone in it, in which case he’d better get going. Sure, he was afraid that he’ll be disappointed in Lex again like all the other times in the past, but there was no point delaying the inevitable. He took a long deep breath, careful not to suck in any nearby trees, and blasted off up into the air at the speed of sound, leaving a small crater in his wake.

After a short flight across the state, he landed in front of their barn. The farm still stood there, unchanged, and the roof tiles shone bright red in the setting sun. Ma and pa were in the living room, chatting comfortably.  

He homed in on the familiar sound of Lex’s heartbeat. It was slow and regular, relaxed.  

Clark froze when he saw his archenemy seated on the roof below the windows to his room. Their old spot. He forced himself to move again and silently floated right next to him. His presence went unnoticed.

Luthor was entirely focused on Lena, all red in the face, running around in the corn field chased by Conner and Krypto. Her laughter carried to the house and it made one of the corners of his mouth rise upwards unconsciously. He looked almost peaceful with most of the usual tension absent, one arm leaning on his knee.  

It’s been years since Clark saw him like that. It was like facing a completely different person. He fidgeted nervously, unsure how to start. Lex still hasn’t even noticed him sitting right beside him. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

‘Didn’t expect you to really show up.’ he started slowly, expecting to startle him.

To his credit, Lex didn’t shoot up or jerk back from the sudden company and only tensed up, eyes wide.

‘I had no choice because you had to go and meddle into my business.’ he hissed at him in defence, partly to get back at him for the scare but also to deny that he’d been enjoying his time here.   

‘I take it Lena is as persistent as her father.’

‘You have no idea.’ Lex announced gravely. Sometimes, especially during arguments, she was as pig headed as her other father and then she got almost unbearable.

Clark gave him a wide, unsuspecting smile, two rows of white teeth sparkling.

‘I’m glad she and Kon are getting along.’

Lex just nodded. He couldn’t deny that he felt the same way. It was unsettling that she’d gotten this close to the Kent family but… she was obviously having fun and it forced him to change his mind about it. Just a while before, Conner carried her on his shoulders all around the farm before he dropped her into the hay in the barn and tickled the life out of her. She laughed until she ran out of breath.

Lex never did anything like that. He made sure to shower her with affection but he was well over running around the penthouse like mad… or like a Kryptonian half clone project, apparently. It looked like she’d been missing some physical activity and the games aimed at the simple minded though.    

When he looked back at Superman, he was surprised to find that he managed to change out of his costume into a tattered cheap mess that was probably his casual clothes. It seemed unbelievably rude to just sneak out of a conversation, even if only for a second.

Before Lex could reproach him for it, however, Clark turned around to face him, ignoring his disapproving expression. After going over it another hundred times in his head, he willed himself to say his offer out loud.

‘I… propose a truce.’

‘…you what…?!’ Lex snarled back in disbelief.

‘A truce, Lex. Since you took a family leave from your criminal career, you could make a difference. We could use you up in the Watchtower.’

Luthor’s face hardened as his heartbeat soared up. He glared at him, offended on a very personal level that Clark would suddenly act as though he’d forgotten their long history together. It didn’t matter if he had to restrict himself to legal means, he would still ruin some lives for profit and Superman was still in the way. It should be simple enough to understand for him even with the supermuscles taking place of the brain tissue. This ‘truce’ just meant that Clark deluded himself into believing he’d switch sides and needed a safeguard to keep that illusion of peace between them intact for his own sake. If he knew he could come and go as he pleased with no real threat to his life, Lex would lose all the semblance of control he had over him. If he gave him just a small leeway Superman would stay sprawled on the couch in his penthouse, teaching Lena about moral codes or something equally horrendous.

Clark was still waiting for the reply, watching his reaction with a tense face. Lex looked straight into his impossibly blue eyes as he leaned in to make things absolutely clear.

‘I’d rather die than humiliate myself like that.’

‘Lex…’ Clark coaxed him gently, fully expecting that sort of answer. It wasn’t ‘Luthor’ for a while now, just ‘Lex’ and it was fairly disturbing.

‘You should think it over, the things are a little different now. We could use some regulations for the visitation hours and whatnot.’ he added smugly.

Right in that moment, Conner caught up with Lena and grabbed her by the waist, lifting her up as she wildly kicked the air, laughing so hard her sides hurt. Krypto ran around them in circles, barking and wiggling his tail. The noise was loud enough to hear up on the roof.

Lex glared at Superman with rekindled hatred.

‘Using a kid against me. Very noble.’ he hissed. Clark hang his head down.

‘You know that that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you to isolate Lena because you’re too scared someone would take her from you.’

‘Do you think you know how to raise her better than me?! You will not involve yourself with her anymore! You already have my son, isn’t that good enough for you?!’

Lex hesitated a little before saying that out loud because he didn’t feel all that good associating himself with him that openly, not after that last awkward conversation in the penthouse. He did have half of his DNA though and he could have been so much better if somebody didn’t go and make him a hero. Besides, he couldn’t help his urge to antagonise Superman.

‘Oh, please Lex! You treated Conner like a weapon against me! What was I supposed to do with him?! Let him run around with abilities he didn’t even understand?! You’ve tried to ruin his life too many times!’ Clark retorted with a certain bitterness in his voice, exasperated that he wouldn’t let him lead a normal conversation for a change.

Back in the field, Conner stopped tickling Lena and his head darted back to the house. She used the distraction to land a kick in his shin but he didn’t even register it, intently focused on something she couldn’t perceive.

‘You dropped him in Nowhereville to rot! He had so much potential, I would ha- ’ Lex replied in similar fashion, balling his fists. He was cut off by Clark’s cold voice.

‘You wouldn’t. You didn’t care.’  

He jerked to a stop mid movement, opening his mouth as if to say something biting but in the end, he just shook his head. He rested his chin on his hand and looked at the horizon, away from the piercing blue eyes.

He would care. He’d trick him, use him, hurt him a plenty but never kill him because he was his. He wanted a son, somebody who’d be smarter than him and stronger than Clark without all the hypocritical values, a ruler for the next generations. Sure, the project failed spectacularly, but he wouldn’t let him waste away like this.

Clark let out a sigh, exhausted from their constant bickering.

‘I don’t ‘own’ Conner, and you know I’m not against you seeing each other. If you really mean no harm.’  

‘And Lena? Will you keep your distance?’ Lex asked pointedly and Kent let out another sigh.

‘I’m sorry Lex, I don’t think that’s an option. You’ve finally found somebody to care about aside from yourself and it’s my responsibility to make sure it works out since I took that away from you the first time.’

‘You’re still hang up on something that happened 16 years ago?’ he pointed out, knowing too well that he wasn’t any better.

Clark gave him one of his wide smiles, eyes gentle. His cheeks were uncharacteristically pink.  

‘You know, if you hadn’t left Smallville when you did, I’d have taken you to the prom instead of Lana Lang.’

Lex forgot how to breathe and when he finally remembered, he almost choked on air.

Clark looked away from him in embarrassment, fighting with himself not to run away from the scene. He spotted Conner staring at them, mouth hanging wide open.

‘You’re very subtle at eavesdropping.’ he pointed out quietly and started silently cursing himself. Of course Kon was listening when they’ve just been talking about him.

It took Lena and a well-aimed tennis ball to the head to get him to snap out of it. His mouth clicked shut and he yelped in pain as his attention snapped back to her. He mumbled a quick excuse, still slightly out of it. Krypto sat down with head tilted to the side, listening intently.

Luthor finally stopped coughing and he managed a single ‘What?!’, face and neck bright red from the oxygen deprivation.  

‘My psychiatrist said it would help to… talk about that…’ Clark murmured almost as an excuse, scratching his knee nervously at such a speed that his hand was nothing more than a blur.

Lex opened his mouth few times to try and come up with anything to reply, like a fish washed ashore, dying a slow agonising death.

‘You…’ he mouthed finally with the wheels in his head were turning so fast he felt seasick.

‘You have a psychiatrist…?’ he muttered, desperately hanging on to the one thing that made sense to him. He forced himself to concentrate as he stared at Clark in a mixture of wonder and disbelief.

‘How did we even get there…?’ he managed, confused. He had a vague recollection of an argument of sorts, of the safe and routine hostility between them.

He looked at Lena only to find her already looking in his direction, her wide eyes darting from him to Clark and then Conner. She desperately wanted to be let in on the going-ons. He could see her lips moving in what was probably a plea to Kon who just shook his head resolutely. The boy turned around and headed back into the house with Lena following his every step.

‘I thought you were the same.’ Clark said suddenly, after what felt like hours of torture, and it seemed more like a question.

‘You know I was.’ Lex said, feeling incredibly idiotic for no obvious reason.

Clark felt a sudden impulse to lean in and put a hand on his shoulder, an urge for some sort of contact, but he thought better of it since the kids could still see them from the field. He chose the worst place and time to do this, it seemed.

‘It’s not like I’ve forgotten all the horrible things you did… I just…’ he looked straight into Luthor’s green eyes and he felt cold sweat running down his back.

‘I just think that…’

‘Dinner’s ready!!’ Martha shouted out from the kitchen, interrupting whatever it was he wanted to say.

Lex darted up in obvious relief, all too eager to use it as an excuse to get away from this awkward situation. He crawled back into the room through the window and almost ran downstairs. 

Clark stayed sitting on the roof for a while longer, thinking about psychiatrists and advices with a tense expression on his face.

 

 

The dinner went by in an eerie silence. Lena kept glancing up at Connor who stared questioningly at Clark who tried his best to avoid looking at Lex who refused to lift him eyes from his plate. Mercy refused her seat at the table and tried to guess the situation from her place in the corner of the room, clutching the briefcase with kryptonite, just in case someone snapped. Ma and Pa Kent gave each other worried looks. Martha took a deep breath and tried starting a casual conversation, turning to Lena with a nervous smile.

‘So, honey, how do you like the house? Did you see the cows?’

It was the right choice. She did know that something was up but her attention immediately turned entirely to the fun things she got to experience today. Her face lit up.

‘Yeah, Kon showed them to me! They’re so big and they stink! But their eyes are nice.’ she gave in to the urge to share all her adventures, talking quickly in high excited voice.

 ‘I wanted to drive the tractor but it was broken. I could fix that but you don’t have a circuit tester.’

‘It’s okay, Jerry said he’ll come around to have a look at it.’ John supplied, more to Clark than to her, because his last repairs almost set the barn on fire. Lena ignored that comment and went on with her monologue.

 ‘And then I ate a corn ear. It was good but green. Is that bad…?’ she asked no one in particular and when she didn’t get an immediate answer she chattered on.

‘And then Kon flew me up on the silo. It was real small compared to Lextower but you coul-‘

‘You put her up there?! Fifteen meters high?! She’d die if she fell!’ Lex suddenly butted in, glaring at Conner angrily, forgetting all about Superman and his ridiculous confessions as his protective instincts kicked in. It had to have happened when he went for a toilet break and he hated himself for that stupidity.   

Conner was surprised by that sudden reaction and, seeing that he was facing the wrath of a man specialising in killing Kryptonian and also somebody who might qualify as his biological parent, decided to limit his answer to shrugging his shoulders.

Lena went through a similar shock because she just realised that this was one of those dangerous things she shouldn’t do and she was gonna lose a lot of points for that, but she was too proud to admit there was any real danger.   

‘I’d survive that.’ she announced, crossing her arms over her small chest. She was super strong so it’d make sense for her to be super durable too, but it wasn’t that she wanted to find that out the hard way.

‘Even if you got a single scratch, it wouldn’t have been worth it!’ her father countered, dead serious.

‘I got her, there’s no way she’d slip!’ Conner added pointedly, offended that he, a part-time saviour of the earth, apparently couldn’t be trusted with keeping a single child out of harm’s way.

‘There’s no need to panic, Lex. Conner had it under control. We climbed the thing with Lana when we were ten.’ Clark joined in, trying to calm them down.

‘You mean the Lana that you had to go to the prom with.’ Lex supplied helpfully as the bits of their earlier conversation resurfaced in his mind.

It had an instant effect as Clark closed his mouth obediently and looked away in embarrassment.

‘Oh, please, not this shit again.’ Conner groaned.

‘Language, son!’ Pa Kent reprimanded him immediately but not before Lex’s head snapped to him in a look of pure bewilderment.

 ‘You heard that?!’

‘Hello, super-hearing. Don’t worry, I couldn’t regret it enough.’ Conner replied immediately. Lena glared at him because he’d resisted all her interrogating methods so far and then turned to Lex, pouting.

‘What were you talking about?! C’mmon, dad!’ she interrupted whatever retort he had planned and grabbed his arm in what she thought to be gentle but urgent embrace, but which would leave some bruises regardless. When feelings got involved, she lost all control over her strength.

Ma Kent quietly stood up in the awkward silence that followed, trying to smile.

‘I’ll bring the apple pie.’ she muttered, gesturing to her husband that they’re having an emergency meeting. He quickly followed her to the kitchen with a frown.

Nobody noticed their absence except for Mercy who was busy boring herself to death in the corner.

‘Please, dad!’ Lena tugged at her father’s arm again and finally got a reaction out of him.

‘Business things.’ Lex replied coldly, glaring at Clark in a way that communicated ‘do not say a thing’. Apparently, he hadn’t gotten the point across clearly enough because Kent went and said another stupid thing that would doubtlessly have Lena bugging him for the next two months.

‘I thought your dad could work with the JL.’

Lena’s jaw dropped down and her eyes lit up in excitement.

‘The justice league…?’ she asked quietly. She looked up at her dad who seemed ready to bury mr Blabberman under three tons of kryptonite and her smile fell.

‘But doesn’t that mean dad would have to do… good stuff…?’ she asked, wrinkling her small nose in obvious disgust. Lex felt a sudden surge of pride that somehow mellowed this horrible Kent experience for a moment. But he was still seriously considering the construction of mount Kryptonite.

‘Yes, it would.’ Clark replied, amused by her reaction.

‘But we’d lose a lot of money… and all the fun stuff in the laboratory…’ Superman questioningly raised one eyebrow at Lex who just shrugged his shoulders.

‘The absolutely legal projects are positively hilarious.’ he muttered, deadpan.

Lena didn’t seem to notice as her small head computed the change of such a magnitude as her father switching sides.   

‘Would dad have to wear a costume…?’ she suddenly asked, worried.

‘Because he’s got a tummy.’ she whispered with a grin, leaning in.

Lex let out a particularly tormented sigh, massaging the bridge of his nose.   

‘I do not.’ he proclaimed, once again perfectly humiliated in front of his mortal enemy. Yes, he did have some problems coming back to his exercising regime now when he was a father and maybe he should stop buying the chocolate cakes, but it just was few extra kilos spread evenly-

‘You kinda do though.’ Conner said casually into the tense quiet of the room, chasing the few macaroni left on his plate with his fork.

Clark opened his mouth to protest but Lex stopped him with a particularly evil glare.

‘Don’t say another word.’

‘I was just-’

‘Do. Not. Say. Ano-‘

‘Now who wants a slice!’ Martha barged in with a plate of her famous apple pie, completely unaware of the conversation she just interrupted.

Lex let out another pained groan. He was never ever coming back here again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it! It's been less than two weeks since the last update, yay!  
> I feel like this chapter was just chatting and awkward silences but damn, now that I think about it most of my stuff is just chatting and awkward silences... meh.  
> Anyway, I can't help but imagine Lex loving cakes because he stole fifty of them... is that still canon, btw? And yes, it's totally canon that Lex and Clark had a thing for each other 16 yrs back but never bothered to confess (because that's my interpretation of Superman Birthright).


	6. Chapter six

‘Dad.’

‘Dad.’

Lex finally turned his head away from the window of the jet and the dark flat fields of Kansas underneath them and gave Lena a questioning look. She stood right next to him with an unusually serious expression.

‘What is it honey?’ he asked distractedly, mind still focused on the thing, that naturally had nothing to do with Superman, that he’d been contemplating only a few seconds ago.

‘Did you forget something?’

A quick shake of the head.

‘Are you mad?’ she whispered, tense.

‘Do you mean… in general?’ he joked, raising one of his thin eyebrows. Lena gave a surprised chuckle and shook her head again, a bit more relaxed.

‘Come here.’ He smiled as he wrapped his hands around her, pulling her closer. Her expression was still unreadable.

‘Mad about what?’ Lena looked away nervously.

‘Mad about the tummy thing.’

His expression turned thoughtful.

‘You broke rule 24: Never tell the supers anything about our personal lives or give out personal information unless it’s a misdirection or a part of some other complex strategy.’

‘I know, dad.’

‘I could categorize this as undermining my authority and a treason in alerting enemies to a potential weakness.’

‘Treason?’ Lena managed, shocked. That sounded like it’d be at least 50 points off.

‘It was a joke, it’s not like you can’t fit into your warsuit anymore.’

Lex’s face went white. He actually had no idea if he could, it’s been years since he last put it on, mainly because it used kryptonite as the power source, and it was calibrated to his exact body shape from that time.  

Lena had the audacity to laugh at his dismayed expression.

‘You can’t?!’

‘Of course I can.’

She leaned in with a sly grin.

‘Maybe I can get some points for pointing out a security risk?’

Lex chuckled, glad that she learned how to hold her own in negotiations. If she goes on improving he’ll never win another argument again.

‘Or you should be glad that I won’t deduct any for the silo.’ he pointed out, eyes narrowing. He wasn’t going to forget that any time soon.

Lena couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she couldn’t turn the situation around, but she still gave her best smug expression. If you can’t win, at least try not to lose, her dad said in his lessons on tactic, and she didn’t, even against Lex Luthor who was the toughest guy on the planet. Then again, she knew he always took it easy on her.

Lex brushed the strands of hair from her face. All of the running and rolling around in hay did a number on her hairstyle, he thought with a frown as he pulled out another twig entwined in her braids.

It seemed that their conversation was over, and she couldn’t suppress a yawn, exhausted. Sitting down in Lex’s lap, she laid her head down on his shoulder, ignoring all his efforts to make her presentable again, and closed her eyes. She went out like a light, with a small smile on her sleeping face.

Mercy came to check on them after few minutes, footsteps too quiet for human ears to perceive. She walked in a bit closer so that they could discuss his schedule for tomorrow in hushed whispers.

Lena mumbled something about dogs from her sleep, slurring the words together.  

‘I’m going back to my training regime.’ Lex ordered a bit hesitantly after discussing their earliest project and Mercy gave him that knowing look but didn’t comment on it any further.

‘Should I cancel your appointment with doctor Haldane?’ she asked instead, rolling the pen in her fingers.

Luthor seemed to give it some thought, looking out of the window again. He didn’t think he’d get away with re-scheduling it for the fourth time.

‘No.’ he said with resignation.

‘Keep it.’

 

 

‘Mr Luthor.’ Dr Haldane called out when he entered, with a big smile on his old wrinkled face.

‘Dr Haldane.’ Lex acknowledged his existence with about the amount of disdain he’d use if he had to address a tick. He sat down in that awkward chair, dusting off his trousers.  

‘It’s been a month since our last session, I’m glad to see you again.’ the man gracefully skimmed over the fact that what was supposed to be a weekly session recommended turned into a rare occurrence and his smile widened.

Lex just lifted an eyebrow, not bothering to respond with the exact opposite. He learned long ago that he’d be just wasting his breath in antagonizing him, or that it might even lead to some particularly stupid questions he’d have to answer.

‘So, how’s Lena?’  

‘Good. She’s well. She’s flying to the international mathematical Olympiad in South Africa next month.’

‘She takes a lot after her father, doesn’t she?’

‘She isn’t a corporate psychopath with a narcissistic personality disorder.’ he pointed out threateningly. He found that description a little offending.

Dr Haldane looked down at his desk with a frown. That was an excerpt from the very first paragraph of his notes that he always made sure to lock in his bottom drawer. He’ll need to rethink his security, maybe add some cameras.

‘I think our professional relationship could use a bit more of trust on your part. And a respect for certain boundaries.’ 

‘I think our relationship could use some better handwriting.’

‘I understand that you feel vulnerable without any control of the situation, however, in interfering with the treatment, you’re only hurting yourself. But tell me, is there a reason why are you uncomfortable talking about Lena’s parentage? We’ve been through this before.’

‘Well, batman didn’t know before.’

‘I see. And he decided… to keep it secret?’

‘Just to have some leverage on me in case he needed it. Why doesn’t he have to go into your office?! Did you see what he’s wearing?’ Lex groaned, tapping his foot.

‘I’d like to help as many superheroes as possible, but I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to tell you even if he did receive treatment here.’

Here dr Haldane cleared his throat.

‘Let’s talk about superman.’

Luthor gritted his teeth, taking a deep breath. His least favourite part of the session that just so happened to take up its entirety.  

‘Try to imagine that he does find about your daughter. How does that make you feel?’

‘Homicidal.’ it was his usual answer to the majority of questions.

‘Just homicidal…?’

‘Threatened… homicidal…’ Lex repeated apathetically, looking at the painting hanging on the wall opposite him.

‘How would Superman feel?’

‘Angry?’ he guessed with a shrug.

‘How about betrayed? Hurt. Disappointed.’

‘It’s all the same. He’d just fly over and wreck the building, nothing I can’t pay for.’

‘But don’t you feel that you have formed a bit of trust over the years of your inactivity in the crime business?’

‘No, I think that I have ‘trust issues related to my troubled upbringing’.’ he retorted, using bits from his psychological evaluation again. He didn’t bother correcting the good-doctor on his criminal inactivity, it’d be ridiculous if he got locked up for tax evasion of all things. It would be less ridiculous to get locked up for his precious unethical experiments though.

‘I still stand by that statement. But let me give you another hypothetical situation. You started a countdown on a doomsday machine, thousands will day if Superman doesn’t stop you…’

‘I don’t go below million.’ came a cold correction.

‘…but he’s unable to. The fate of Earth is at stake, he’s been kidnapped to another dimension or incapacitated. He can’t make it until the countdown.’

‘Thank you, doctor. Imagining the look on his face when he realizes that really warms my heart.’

‘I’d think so. But I do think you’d stop the machine.’

Luthor’s mouth snapped shut and he gave doctor his best business look, the one that made sure you get to bury your whole family unless you say what he wants to hear.

‘There’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s a common occurrence in long-term villain-hero relationships.’ the man quickly added with a placating gesture.

‘Over the years, winning becomes a secondary goal and you focus on the game instead. I’ve seen it happens to many of my other clients with a background similar to yours. Good nemesis is hard to find, after all.’ he obviously loved talking about the subject.

Luthor sighed, straightening his tie.

‘Now that I know how I’m supposed to feel, what do I need to say to get you off my back?’ he asked directly, since his patience was wearing thin. He knew he’ll be spending the rest of this evening convincing himself why it wasn’t worth it to kill this particular person.

Dr Haldane seemed to consider the answer, arranging the folders on his desk, seemingly unaware of, or perhaps immune to, all of all the murderous intent directed at him.

‘It’s more of what to do. I’d like you to try and be honest with yourself, honest to the people around you. Talk about your feelings.’

Lex felt realization wash over him like a bucket of ice water. His heart skipped a beat.

‘Mr Luthor…?’

‘You’re right. Maybe I should start right now. I actually feel betrayed.’ he announced sweetly, glaring at him.

‘Interesting. Would you mind telling me why?’

‘Since when is Clark Kent your client?’

The doctor finally stopped smiling. The worried look suited him better, he knew the situation was serious enough to make Luthor want the answers at all costs.

‘He came to me few months before you did.’ he admitted slowly with a long sigh.

‘After the divorce.’ Lex supplied on his own. He couldn’t remind himself enough, it improved his mood every time.  

‘You had him tell me about the prom.’ he pointed out accusingly, getting lost in the heat of the moment. Only after dr Haldane failed to hide his surprise did he realize that he just freely gave out additional information. Damn Superman and his stupid habit of riling him up to the point where he can’t think straight even when he isn’t actually around.

‘He did talk to you about that? That explains why you’ve been so irritable today.’

Luthor was just about to show him how irritable he could be if he tried but the doctor kept droning on about Clark’s personal life, busy thinking about the accomplishment.

‘That’s amazing, maybe he’s already talked to miss Lane too. He’s making a great progress towards letting someone new into his life.’

Lex stopped in the middle of the typing a message that’d, coincidentally, have mr Haldane’s neighbourhood torn down if sent and slowly, slowly lifted his bald head up.  

‘Excuse me…?’  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels like a short chapter, I'll (hopefully) make it up to you in the next one... or the one after that, but I really felt like ending it at that exact point for obvious reasons.   
> Anyway, thanks for all the kudos and comments so far, I really appreciate it.


	7. Chapter seven

‘Sir?’ Mercy decided to break the awkward silence that hung between them ever since her employer came back to the penthouse. She wasn’t all that good at guessing people’s emotions, but with all the pacing around and the amount of alcohol consumed per minute, she’d say that mr Luthor was anxious and if there really was something worrying the greatest mind on the earth, it might just spell doom for the ordinary people.

‘Hm.’ Lex replied thoughtfully as he stopped walking for a minute and took to glaring out of his windows, as if the clouds personally offended him.

‘You seem… upset.’

‘Nonsense.’ he almost dashed back to his bar and poured himself another glass.

‘Bring me another bottle.’

‘That’d mean you’d go over the drinking limit you set for yourself.’

‘Don’t joke around, why would I even do that?!’

‘So you wouldn’t get drunk enough to start telling your daughter the truth.’ she deadpanned, raising one of her perfect eyebrows.

‘Oh, that was… actually a smart… very smart limit…’ he mumbled back, and his angry outburst disappeared just as quickly as it started.

‘Decrease the volume some more next time. Drinking sets an incredibly bad example…’ he ordered, shamefaced, remembering all of the books about parenting he went through to teach himself how to act around Lena since the parenting style of his father left much to be desired.

‘Of course sir.’

‘Hm.’ he nodded before his thoughts returned back to the same subject as before and he let out an annoyed groan, throwing himself into his chair. He stayed seated for hardly a minute until his body itched to move again and walk the problem away. He shot up from the swivel chair and it swung back around, armrest hitting the desk with a loud bang. 

‘Are you alright sir?’ she pressed the issue, concerned.

‘Is it something about Superman?’ she gave an educated guess and Luthor heaved a mighty sigh before nodding with the resigned air of a man forced to choose which noose he’d get.

‘He is prepared to let someone new into his life.’ he said mockingly while pointing at the window in a gesture of pure helplessness.       

‘That is…’ Mercy tried to come up with the response that was expected of her but Luthor was far from done.

‘He made a fool out of me the entire time!’ he started pacing again with furious urgency.

‘He’s even more stupid than I thought if he thinks I’ll just let him run loose. I’ll… I’ll…! Call Perry White, he’s having a radical change of staff!’

‘Sir, with all due respect-‘

‘He wouldn’t fire him. Damn it!’ he ran out of breath and had to stop his speech, both physically and emotionally exhausted.

‘What am I supposed to do?’ he asked, surprisingly softly, turning around to look at her. It took her by surprise.

‘You… want him to stay with you…?’ she managed, trying to find a single reason for the theatrics. She thought they’ve gotten over the denial a while back, but he never failed to amaze her.

‘Yes! No! Oh god, no! I don’t want to have anything to do with him!’ he fired back in a quick succession, wrinkling his forehead.

‘I just want him to stay alone for his entire life. Yes, that would be quite… sufficient…’ he crossed his eyes over his chest, regaining some of his composure.

‘Are you going to stay alone your entire life too?’

‘No. Probably. That’s entirely unrelated to what we’re talking about.’ Lex waved his hand dismissively. With a flinch, he finally noticed that the doors to the office were open. They seemed to have been open for a while.

‘Dad.’ Lena poked her head in, pretending that she’d just arrived.

‘Where in the labs do you keep the metal cutting saw?’

‘What do you need that for, honey?’ Luthor asked, walking to the doors, embarrassed.

‘I thought I’d get started on my robo-bear of doom.’ she admitted shyly, looking down at her feet.

‘Will it have lasers?’

‘Yeah, three. Wanna see the plans?’ she looked up anxiously, searching for any sign of his approval.

‘Of course.’ he smiled fondly, petting her head. She’s going to rule the world when she grows up, he was sure of that.

‘I’m so proud of you.’

Lena turned bright red and lowered her eyes, unsure how to keep her calm after a praise like that. She hasn’t even shown him a single page yet.

‘I know, dad.’ she murmured, embarrassed, as she looked away again.

Mercy gave her one of her polite almost-smiles from where she was standing next to the table.

‘What were you talking about?’ she asked, concerned, suddenly remembering that there was a situation.

‘Just… work.’   

 

 

‘Oh my god!’

‘Yeah.’

‘This is amazing!’

‘Totally.’

‘Now my life finally has a meaning.’

‘Aren’t you overreacting? At least a little?’ Conner carefully asked as he got into the car, raising one eyebrow.

‘Not at all.’ Tim breathed out, not bothering to stop caressing the dashboard with an expression of endless reference.

‘Where did you get this?’ he whispered, trying and failing to contain his excitement.

‘I just woke up one morning and it was here. Courtesy of my genetic donor.’

‘Luthor gave you this?!’ Tim made a visible jerk, eyes darting around.

‘Did you check if-‘

‘No explosives, kryptonite, sophisticated traps, bugs or anything. Superman spent an entire hour trying to find anything shady.’

Tim relaxed again, leaning into his seat. This time, it was his friend that he was analyzing.

‘What’s going on? I heard that he was here few days ago.’

‘Apparently his daughter wanted to see me real bad.’

‘You’re kidding.’

‘Nope. She’s got him wrapped around her finger.’

‘Are you sure that it wasn’t just a part of his plan?’ Tim narrowed his eyes, trying to come up with all the possible outcomes of that visit.

‘Like… maybe, it’s Luthor, but it really seemed like he had no idea what he was doing here. The entire thing was super awkward… I mean like, he called me his son and then said something like Superman stole me from him… that’s like… ugh…’ Conner shuddered at the memory of that entire conversation. He was still playing with the key in his hand, trying to find a single place where he could put it.

‘Almost like he’s… I dunno…’

‘Baby crazy?’ Tim offered suddenly and Conner gave him a questioning look.

‘…I meant more like becoming a real human being but yeah, that too…’

There was a moment of tense silence as both of them stared through the window at the inside of the barn while Kon toyed with the keys.

‘You have no idea how to start this thing, do you?’

‘Nope. I swear the keys were in the ignition when I found it, but they just won’t go in this time.’

‘Oh my god!’ Tim almost squealed as if that was somehow another proof of how amazing the car was.

‘You really got no clue what this is?’ he asked and Kon just shrugged his shoulders with a sigh.

‘The most user-unfriendly car on the market?’

‘It’s a Lexcorp prototype of a new line of cars using the salvaged Apokalyptos technology to direct the energy from a Motherbox to the engine. It’s decades ahead of any other vehicle on Earth!’

‘Okay.’

‘Just okay…?’

‘C’mmon, it’s Luthor we’re talking about. The stuff he does blows people’s minds on daily basis. In both senses of the word, probably.’

‘It can teleport.’ Tim said casually and grinned when he got the expected reaction.

‘OH MY GOD! Are you fucking serious?! He gave me a teleporting car?!’ 

‘Yep. Your mum is the best. Unless he’s killing people, of course.’ he pointed out dryly, fiddling with the controls.

‘Damn!’ Conner breathed out, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, giddy with excitement.

‘Do you know how to get this thing moving…?’

‘Do you know how to drive it?’

‘I know how to drive cars. How hard could that be, really?’

 

 

‘Hi. What do you want?’ a girl’s singsong voice came from the other end. Conner’s eyes darted back to Tim who was sitting next to what was left of his car, rummaging through his utility belt.

‘Lena? I just- is Luthor home?’ he asked sheepishly.

‘Who’s there?’

‘That’s me. Conner. You know, from the Kent farm.’

‘I wouldn’t forget my brother.’ Lena reminded him dryly.

‘So… your dad…’ he repeated impatiently, kicking up sand.

‘He’s out. Why, is there some crisis? I can help!’

‘Nah, not really I just… did a thing… I thought your dad might fix it…’

Tim made a sour face and fished out something that might have been a mini bat-screwdriver. There was no way he could get this heap of scrap metal moving.

‘Did you kill somebody?’ Lena suggested from the other side nonchalantly.

‘No! God no! How did you even come up with that?!’

There was a moment of awkward silence, probably as she considered what lie she could get away with, until Conner ran out of patience and spoke up again.

‘Anyway, will you tell him to call me back when he gets… back?’

‘Okay.’

‘Alright, bye?’

‘Bye- wait! I really wanted to ask somebody something, but Mercy won’t hear of it and…’

‘I don’t know anything about birds and bees.’ he replied all too quickly and Tim gave him a funny look. He probably still had no clue who his friend was talking with.

‘I got an A from biology. It’s just dad is… like really angry right now? Because of your dad…’ Lena muttered.

‘Isn’t that his normal mood?’

‘Well yeah, but he’s kinda weird now. And he keeps talking about him when he thinks I can’t hear him.’

‘Lena, you know…’ Conner sighed, walking back to the car. He really really didn’t have a clue what she was getting at but he didn’t have the heart to cut her off.

‘I swear I’m not eavesdropping! Well, most of the time. My ears are just that good.’

‘Who’s that?’ Tim asked with a frown, peeling the paint of the hood of the car with a batarang. Conner peeled the phone of his ear with a disgruntled face.

‘My sis.’ he guessed.

‘Lena Luthor?’ Tim asked in bewilderment.

‘Are you still there?’ a small voice called out, confused.

‘Yeah. Listen, I don’t really have a clue what goes on in his head so,… I can’t help you, okay?’ Kon quickly replied. His friend let out a long sigh, packing his things.

‘Just hang up, you’ll have to fly this crap home. Me included.’

‘I know it’s just… I think dad likes him.’ Lena finished shyly and Conner’s focus snapped back to her again.

‘Likes who?’

‘I’d call dad, but he just loves Luthortech. I wouldn’t get out of the house for a week.’ Tim went on with his explanation until his friend cut him off with a quick gesture. There were more pressing matters at hand.

‘Who are we talking about?’ he inquired with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He did not want to hear anything about this again.

‘My dad likes uncle Clark. That’s why he’s always arguing with him and keeps staring at his photos.’ she finished in a hushed tone, as if sharing a military secret.

‘That’s… Maybe, I-

‘Do not interrupt! I’m getting to the point.’

‘Sure.’ Conner managed, a little startled at the authoritativeness of the reprimand.

‘So, would you help me help dad make your dad like him back? You know, so that dad can be happy.’        

‘…what…?’ he squeaked out, voice an octave higher than usual.

‘Seriously, I gotta be home in thirty minutes or I’m officially declared missing.’ Tim warned, blissfully unaware, and sat down into the sand again.

‘What…’ Conner repeated with the same dumbstruck expression on his face.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm late? Also sorry and never updating in time for anything! Yep!  
> But at least we're moving somewhere, albeit slowly. The next chapter will be longer, I swear!   
> Thanks to everyone still reading this!


	8. Chapter eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... I'm still alive. In my defence, it only took me forever this time.  
> Writing some parts of this chapter was like pulling teeth and I really feel like my mind was all over the place with the end of the semester and all that. But hey, at least it's longer than the usual chapters?  
> Huge thank you to anybody who's still reading this despite my non-existent update schedule, and even supporting me with kudos and comments. Thanks guys, it means a lot to me.

‘Dad, can I go to the amusement park with Conner?’ Lena asked suddenly, dashing into his office.

‘Conner?’ Lex repeated, raising one of his eyebrows.

‘Conner Kent. Your other kid…?’

‘Was that his idea?’

‘No, I just thought we could hang out like siblings.’

‘Then you can hang out here where I can see you.’ Luthor reasoned without bothering to lift his eyes up from the reports.

‘C’mmon dad! I haven’t been to one in forever!’

‘Two years.’

‘That’s more than a forever then!’

‘I’m too busy right now, we’ll go tomorrow.’

‘But you don’t have to go anywhere, you’d stay here. Conner’s gonna watch out for me.’

‘No, no, no… I’m not leaving you alone with a _superhero_.’ he made sure to pronounce the s word with as much disgust as possible.  

‘Dad! Pretty please!’

‘No.’

‘You already let me stay at the farm, you told me he’s harmless. I’m sure he’d rather lose an arm than let anything happen to me.’

He really would. He couldn’t find appropriate reply to that.

‘I really want to go. Pretty please?’

‘Alright, just wait until I get changed.’

‘But you don’t-‘

‘At least I’m going to drive you there.’

Lena gave a sigh, as if annoyed, but just as soon as her father turned her back to her, she flashed a toothy grin. Manipulating people was even easier than she expected.

 

 

‘Okay honey, where would you like to go first?’ he asked just as they entered the park, completely ignoring Conner who’d already been waiting for them at the gates.

‘The roller coaster!’ she answered immediately, dragging her dad along to where she could see the enormous structure towering above them.

‘By the way hi guys.’ Conner greeted them, trying his best not to sound frustrated as he zapped in right in front of them.

‘Hi bro.’ Lena acknowledged his presence quickly.

‘See any familiar faces?’ she asked quickly, scanning the crowd.

‘Actually, Jon is at the roller coaster.’ He replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Luthor’s eyes narrowed.

‘What is he doing here?’

‘It’s an amusement park, kids come here.‘ Conner explained dryly, exchanging looks with Lena.

Lex watched them, trying to force a connection. He suddenly felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

‘He’s not alone, is he?’ he asked quickly, starting to understand the trap that he’d gotten himself into. They were rounding the corner just before the attraction and he felt dread settling in his stomach.

‘Uhm, no?’ Conner replied, scratching his head anxiously. Very helpful.

Finally, they got a clear view. It took a while to spot Jon in the crowd and when he did, the person accompanying him was already looking their way.

‘I didn’t think we’d bump into each other that soon again. Glad to see you’re getting along.’ Clark greeted them just as soon as they got within the earshot.

Luthor made a particularly sour expression. He tried keeping his daughter away from the Kents and that’s how that ended up. He really needed to reconsider his parenting choices.

‘What are you even doing here?!’

‘Jon hasn’t been to an amusement park before.’ Clark explained with a wide smile, looking down at Jon who was trying to hide behind him.

‘Excellent.’ Lex commented, voice cold.

‘Are you riding the roller coaster too?’ Jon asked quietly, poking his head out.  

‘Yep. It looks pretty boring though.’ Conner assessed the structure with all its deadly twists and turns that made Luthor sick just from watching them.

‘You’re going too?’ Clark asked him, looking slightly concerned.

‘Of course I am.’ Luthor bit back. What if Lena got scared and he wouldn’t be around to comfort her? He couldn’t afford any mistakes.   

It’s been a while since he’s been on one of these things but he’d done a lot of manoeuvring in his Lexo suit and never had any issues. He’ll just strap in with no option to escape and let it play out without any way of controlling it. He’ll be alright.

 

 

‘Are you okay dad?’ Lena looked back at him, surprised at the colour of his face.

She just got out of roller coaster car, still red in the face with throat sore from screaming but smiling nonetheless when she noticed her dad’s face had somehow managed to turn green.

‘Of course honey. Go… go play with… with Jon. Buy some…’ here he paused to force himself to swallow back the wave rising from his stomach, but still obstinately trying to keep a straight face.

‘…some cotton candy… I’ll be right back…’ he waved at Conner to drag them away as he turned on his heels and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom. Lena watched him go, alarmed and confused, but the only reaction she was capable of was a quiet ‘okay dad’ before her brother walked her to the nearest stand.

 Jon followed right behind them, albeit slowly, looking over his shoulder every few seconds. His dad was still standing in front of the roller coaster.

‘Stay with Kon, I’ll be back quick.’ he promised before he zapped to where Luthor had disappeared to.

Jon looked up at Conner and gave him his lost puppy expression.

‘Don’t worry, I can handle this. I’m a superhero, alright?’ the teenager said in what he considered to be his best calming voice.  

‘But you’re twelve.’ Jon noted, looking up at him.

‘We don’t talk about that. Now, who wants to… shoot a goldfish…?’ Connor asked, looking around nervously.

Both Jon and Lena gave him their best judgmental looks.

‘You’ve never been to an amusement park before, have you?’ Lena pointed out, trying to adopt the tone dad used to humiliate his employees.

Connor leaned down to her, already regretting he ever agreed to go here with her.

‘No, I tend to spend my time saving the world, freaking out that all of my hair will fall out, and getting killed.’ he replied deadpan and turned them around so that they were facing the stands again.

‘Let’s try that one.’

 

 

‘Lex…?’ Clark called out after entering the closest public bathroom. There was no reply save for the very obvious sound of retching from the third cubicle. He gave a sigh, not surprised in the slightest.

‘Why did you even go on the roller coaster if they still make you sick…’ he complained half-heartedly, not expecting a reply. Back in the Smallville it took him three rides to even admit that it was a possibility and it seemed like he was still stubbornly pretending that he had no issues with them whatsoever.

He soaked one of the paper towers in cold water, opening the doors to the cubicle.

Luthor didn’t seem very happy about the fact that his archenemy was here to witness this.

‘I will gauge your eyes out and sprinkle red kry-’ here he had to pause to empty his stomach again since his body seemed to be determined to throw up all its contents.  

‘You’ll feel better afterwards.’ Clark assured him and pressed the wet paper to his sweating forehead, ignoring the threat.

‘Towel would have been better.’ he admitted, seeing how the water trickled over his eyebrows and down his nose.

Luthor looked up at him and Kent gave him a soft, caring smile, which seemed to have exactly the opposite effect on him than on the rest of the Superman-loving population. His eyes narrowed into slits and he was about ready to waste few minutes of his life uselessly trying to snap his steel neck before a sudden realization hit him and his head whipped back, eyes darting around the bathroom.

‘Where’s Lena?!’ he asked urgently, forgetting about the wet ball of paper pressed against his forehead.

‘It’s alright, she’s with Conner.’

Lex’s eyes widened in horror. With the person who put her up on the silo. Sure, very safe.

‘Get back there immediately and…. just…!’ he gripped the rim of the toilet bowl again, going white in the face as another random spasm hit him.

‘I’m sure that he can handle keeping an eye on them for a few more minutes.’

‘Because there’s no way you’d be a magnet for disasters, is there?!’ Luthor snapped back angrily. He was exhausted, his darling daughter might be walking into a robot invasion right about now and Superman was here with that concerned face, playing nurse. Try and seduce him now, sick in a toilet cubicle, he hissed at the image of Mercy who happened to emerge somewhere in the back of his head with all her stupid advices. Besides, he reminded himself stubbornly, he wanted to have nothing to do with Superman.

‘You did cause half of them.’ Clark pointed out and his use of past tense made Luthor want to be sick all over again.

He stood up slowly, knees wobbling, and leaned against the wall for support.

‘Where are they?!’ he asked immediately.

‘At some game stand.’ Clark replied, casually looking through the bathroom walls.

‘I think you’re a little over-protective.’ he added with another grin, reaching out to steady him but his hand got quickly slapped away.

‘I can’t swoop in to save her at the last minute.’ Lex pointed out coldly and slowly walked to the sink. When he heard Clark flush the toilet, he realized that this will go on to become one of his worst days. Well, he’ll have enough time to feel humiliated once he finds Lena.

He drank a bit of the cold tab water and it splashed around happily in his empty stomach.

‘I’ll get you something to wash the taste down.’ Superman offered and immediately disappeared, unable to not help him.

Come to think of it, he’d even catch a bullet for him, if need be. Luthor filed that information under the ‘1001 possible ways to kill mr red underpants’ for future use. It seemed way more feasible than convincing him to let his guard down around him after he’d invented the cure for cancer and shooting him in the head. There was no way that’d work.

He barely managed to wash his face and Clark re-appeared holding two big cups of shaved ice, one red and one blue.

‘Typical.’ Luthor murmured, glaring at the drinks. He dried himself with a paper towel. 

 ‘I got you wild cherry.’ Clark announced, looking way too pleased with himself, and forced one of the cold cups into his hands.

‘Hm.’ Lex managed. He didn’t have any derisive remarks ready for the situation.

‘I haven’t had shaved ice since…’

‘I bought you one back in Smallville. I know.’

Luthor made a face. He actually forgot all about that, but all things considered, those were the only conditions under which he’d drink something like this: Clark Kent conditions.

He examined the beverage with a particularly sour expression, holding it to light. In the awkward silence that followed, Clark but crossed his arms over his chest in a decidedly Superman manner, nervous.

Luthor shot him a look.

‘What are you waiting for? You can’t leave them with the Conner person.’

‘Conner person. It was ‘our son’ last time.’

‘I don’t recall.’ Lex retorted quickly but his cheeks went slightly pink from all the embarrassment that that single memory brought with it. He’d decided to use the word only when the boy deserves to be called a Luthor. He wouldn’t let himself get carried away again.

Clark didn’t find that in the least surprising and let out a defeated sigh.

‘Of course. Hold onto that cup.’ he advised, throwing a hand around him.

‘Don’t you-‘ Lex started before their surroundings changed as if somebody switched the channel.

‘-beam us there!’  he finished, inhaling sharply. He could feel his stomach hitting the side of his ribcage and gave Clark one of his special murderous looks.

‘Unbelievable.’ He added, taking another deep breath.

‘And we’re here.’ Clark said quietly, trying to cover up the fact that he once again forgot how much his archnemesis hated being taken places against his will at neck breaking speeds. He half-suspected that it had something to do with the fact that he always took him to prison this way.

Lex immediately shook his hands off and headed for the stands in that special purposeful way which seemed to render the ground under his feet his very own territory. From time to time he’d glance at the cup in his hand and frown at it, as if it was the symbol of his defeat.

Conner spotted them first, probably eavesdropping on them again. Lex made a point of glaring at him for it. He clearly took after his other father in every way that mattered.

‘Hey guys. You were sick?’ the boy asked when Luthor stopped right next to where he was leaning onto the side of the shooting gallery.

Lex gritted his teeth.

Definitely eavesdropping.

‘No. I’ve just decided to review the contents of my stomach again. Just in case.’ He replied dryly.

‘Okay.’ Conner responded, trying not to roll his eyes.

‘Dad.’ Lena emerged from behind him with the expression of a kicked puppy.

‘You were sick?’ she repeated incredulously, teary eyed.

Conner worded a silent ‘oops’ before he turned around under the pretence of looking after Jon who was just handling a potentially dangerous gun. Except Clark was already over there, ruffling his hair.  

‘It was nothing honey.’ Lex tried comforting her with the little air he had left since she ran over and grabbed him in one of her bone-crushing hugs.

‘But you’re never sick! Or hurt!’ Lena reasoned, concerned.

So he’d been playing the indestructible father. Oh, the irony.

‘It was nothing.’ He repeated when she lifted up her big eyes to him questioningly.

Jon apparently hit the bullseye and Conner’s cheering interrupted them. Jon started babbling excitedly and Clark’s replies alternated with chuckles.

Lena glanced around to make sure that nobody was paying attention to them now before she stood up on her tiptoes, leaning closer to his face to whisper ‘Do you get sick from roller coasters?’ with serious expression, as if she’d uncovered his one weakness.

‘Judging from the evidence, I’ll have to say yes.’ he forced himself to admit.  

‘Why did you go with me in the first place then. That was stupid.’ Lena lectured him, still not letting him go.

If anything, she squeezed him even tighter.

‘Honey, co- could you let me go already?’ he offered with a strained smile. He could feel his sides bruising up.

‘You should have told me.’ she went on with obvious discontent, still not realizing the strength she was exerting.

‘I think your dad is in a lot of pain right now.’ a voice pointed out gently somewhere from behind her and Clark’s hand landed on her shoulder, startling the both of them.

Both Conner and Jon turned to look, confused by his sudden disappearance when he was just there a second ago.

‘Wha- oh!’ Lena gasped and immediately let Lex go, acting as if she got burned. She stared at him, eyes wide with terror.

‘I didn’t… I’m sorry dad.’ she quickly added, panicked.

‘It’s alright honey. It was just a little too tight.’ Luthor repeated, giving Clark a look of utter disapproval. _‘A lot of pain’_. The last thing he needed was to make her afraid of herself.  

Clark didn’t back down and went as far as checking him with his array of special visions which, far from being flattering, only served to irritate Lex some more.

 ‘You just need to learn to control your strength.’ he noted firmly but made a point of giving Lena one of his reassuring smiles afterwards.

Lena gave a single nod, biting her lip, and refused to look at them.

Jon entirely forgot that he was in the middle of a competition and scuttled over to them quickly, unable to contain his curiosity about the seemingly serious situation. Conner followed right behind him, giving Lena a questioning look.

She noticed her new audience and dashed behind a nearby bench where she hid her face in her sleeves. She was crying quietly, and her little shoulders trembled.

Luthor was at her side almost immediately but she shied away from all his touches until he gave up and crouched down next to her, helpless.

‘Amazing job.’ he hissed at Clark furiously, trying to make himself feel a little better.

Kent sucked in a breath, at loss of what to do.

 ‘Is Lena hurt?’ Jon asked in alarm, looking up to his dad.

‘She’s alright but she almost crushed Lex’s ribs.’ Clark replied honestly.

Lex wanted to spare Lena even another minute of this embarrassment of being out in the open like this, but he couldn’t exactly pick her up and carry her to the car like he’d do normally so he satisfied himself with contradicting Clark who got him into this mess in the first place.

‘Please, it was nothing.’ he bit back angrily.

‘Yeah, he’s a sturdy bastard.’ Conner joined in and his comment earned a surprisingly angry look from Clark.

‘He is though.’ he insisted grudgingly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Clark went over to Lena, ignoring all of the death-threats Luthor sent his way. She spotted him immediately and her eyes, dry but still swollen, were trained on him.

‘It’s alright, Lena, I went through the same thing.’ he started softly.

‘Not the same thing.’ Luthor mouthed quietly, trying to push him away.

‘I can teach you how to handle it.’ he offered.

‘Do you mean it?’ she asked quietly.

‘Of course.’

Lena slowly nodded, looking him in the eyes, and stood up.

‘You’re going to be alright.’

She threw herself at him and gave him a quick hug, squeezing him with all his might which turned out to be quite a lot for a girl of her size.

‘How about a blueberry shaved ice?’ he changed the topic, offering her the cup that he was still holding in his hand.

‘I’d rather have the one dad has.’ she admitted quietly, quite calmed down.

‘Of course honey.’ Lex immediately agreed and gave over his drink.

She even let him lift her up into his lap on the bench, slurping on the cherry flavoured ice with a single-minded focus while her dad gently brushed her hair from her red face.

Clark collapsed onto the bench right next to them and Jon hauled himself up on his knee, looking over to Lena worriedly.

‘That happens to everyone, you know.’ he started softly.

‘Dad breaks handles all of the time. When he was angry he punched the wall so hard our roof fell down.’ he added.

‘That was long ago.’ Clark added, trying to shush him. He’d destroyed half of the house before the divorce was over without even meaning to and he was still ashamed just thinking about it.

‘But you’re still normal.’ Lena complained, giving him a tired look. Jon still had to manifest his powers and it was totally unfair.

‘You’re a Luthor, of course you’re stronger.’ Lex pointed out with a straight face and only earned a raised eyebrow from Clark and a groan from Conner.

‘Tell that to your other kid.’ he muttered, walking in a circle around the bench before he finally decided to sit down next to his other genetic donor.

‘We all make mistakes sometimes. Like teleporting cars into trees.’ Luthor retorted.

‘What?! How do you- I didn’t tell that to Lena-!’

‘You gave him a teleporting car.’ Clark noted, taken aback.  

‘We talked about this! You told me you wouldn’t harm him in any-‘

‘He did that to himself. Even if I gave him a normal car he’d crush it. I at least get some field-testing done this way.’ Luthor reasoned, voice cold.

‘It wasn’t my fault! The controls were a mess!’ Conner replied, exasperated.

‘Give me another one?’ he added after some reflexion, suddenly all too meek.

‘Please, with the marks you get?’

‘I’m saving the world!’

‘Didn’t stop me from not dropping out.’ Clark pointed out.

‘I could teach you.’ Lena offered, taking another sip from the shaved ice. She seemed to have forgotten all about the affair before.

‘She could.’ Lex agreed, not finding a single fault with the fact that she was years younger.

‘No thanks.’ Conner declined, still not sure if he could even take the offer seriously and if he did what that’d say about the level of his abilities.

‘If… I get C from chemistry on the next test, will I get the car?’ he started negotiating and Clark quickly brushed him off.

‘You need to improve for yourself, not for some reward.’

‘You won’t.’ Lex replied, ignoring Kent all together.

‘But if you get B I’ll give you 800 dollars.’  

‘Lex…’ Clark started warningly.

‘You would…? Yeah, deal!’ Conner exclaimed in surprise. It wasn’t so bad to have a supervillain for a father after all. Especially when he was one-upping his other superhero parent.   

‘That’s way too much! At least make it half-yearly tests from all subjects! You’re spoiling him.’ Clark protested, ready to have a lengthy discussion about parenting.

‘Just think of it as alimony. I’m not spoiling anybody.’

Clark just raised an eyebrow at that, looking over to Lena.   

‘…who doesn’t deserve it…’ Lex added after some reflection and Lena grinned up at him.

‘Can I go to Kent’s again, dad? Play with Krypto?’ she asked nicely, batting her eyelashes.

‘We’ll… talk about it…’ he concluded, steeling his resolve.

‘And I can go visit uncle Clark’s every week, right?’

‘No honey…’ Lex gave a nervous chuckle, unsure where that came from.

‘But he said he’d teach me how to control my powers.’ she pointed out, and Clark just shrugged his shoulders.

‘It’d be better this way, Lex. She needs someone to walk her through it if she wants to fit in with the rest without any other incidents.’ he reasoned, swirling the cup in his hand. The ice was melting fast.

‘What kind of powers does she even have?’ Jon whispered and immediately earned a death-glare from Luthor.

The bench went quiet.

‘I’m gonna be like my mum. She was super strong and she could fly. I think.’ Lena finally managed to reply, wrinkling her forehead in concentration.

‘You don’t know your mum?’ Jon asked, surprised.

‘She died when Lena was very young.’ Luthor concluded, trying not to let his anxiety show. The ‘mother’ had always been the weak link of his plan.

‘You don’t remember her?’ Jon went on despite the very obvious signs of Lex’s growing displeasure, too curious.

‘Nah, but that’s okay since I got dad. And he’ll get married soon and I’ll have a second da-… parent… A second parent.’ She replied, grinning wildly and otherwise looking very suspicious.

Lex would have to give her another lesson in lying later. Wait a minute…

‘That’s sad, you know my-‘ Jon started before he got interrupted by Luthor.

‘What are you even talking about, honey? What marriage?’ he asked nervously.

‘Don’t worry about that. Jon keeps fantasising about the same thing.’ Clark said reassuringly with a wide smile.   

Lena never talked about anything similar. Quite the opposite, she liked chasing any potential ‘mothers’ and ‘aunts’ away from him.

‘But it’s really happening.’ She firmly protested before Conner poked her in the back to shut her up.

Lex looked both of them over, increasingly suspicious.

‘Anybody want some cotton candy?’ Conner asked nervously, forcibly trying to change the topic.

Lena gave him a blank stare.

‘We had one like few minutes ago.’

‘Alright…’ he replied, gritting his teeth.

‘I’d like some.’ Jon admitted shyly.

‘You just had one.’ Clark repeated patiently.

‘I want the mini-donuts.’ Lena remembered with a sudden urgency and shot up, all of her matchmaking schemes already forgotten, and tugged on Lex’s hand, albeit very gently.

‘Alright, alright.’ Luthor agreed reluctantly and winced as he got up.   

‘Take it easy.’ Clark recommended quite uselessly and got death glare in reply.

‘I don’t want them anymore.’ Lena whispered, recalling the entire incident again.

‘Don’t be silly. I’m buying them with or without you.’ Luthor warned her jokingly, taking her hand. Lena frowned, torn apart between guilt and donut craving, but meekly followed her father.

‘Can I have some dad…?’ Jon whispered as his eyes followed them, jealous.

‘You wouldn’t eat dinner after all the sweets.’ Clark replied in a gentle but firm tone.

Conner looked like he was just about to head there himself but the conversation changed his mind. The kid was too well-behaved to throw a tantrum over the fact that he’d be the only one around without sweets but that didn’t mean that he could get away with stuff like that. He let out an annoyed groan and collapsed back on the bench. Parenting, right?

‘Can we go home?‘ Jon asked suddenly, swinging his feet.

‘You sure that you don’t want to go for another ride?’

‘Not really…’

‘Alright, just say goodbye and I’ll fly you home.’

Lena was just returning back from the stand, skipping back to the bench with a big grin on her face. She had an entire plastic bucket full of donuts that she promptly thrust into Jon’s hands as soon as she reached him.

‘We’re supposed to share.’ She explained and immediately grabbed a donut from the top.

Jon’s face lit up but he gave a quick glance in Clark’s direction. He was pretty sure that this wasn’t allowed.

‘They’re better warm.’ Lex pointed out, carrying his own small paper bag with donuts.

‘Lex…’ Clark started warningly, trying to overcome his shock.

‘Don’t worry, I’m still expecting a favour from him in return once he grows into his abilities.’

‘I will not directly or indirectly harm anybody physically or mentally, do anything illegal or morally questionable, lie, or do anything bad...’ as Jon set down his conditions, his face got surprisingly serious, almost like a small version of Superman himself, even though he basically repeated the same things over and over again. One of his hands impatiently hovered over the bucket.

Lex refused to find that adorable.

‘What can you do then?’ he asked instead.

‘I don’t know… help you move the furniture…?’ Jon continued, a little less sure, refusing to meet his eyes.

Lena stuffed one of the donuts into his mouth before the negotiation was over and he chewed down on it happily, before realising that he’d basically agreed to the conditions now.   

‘You’re spoiling him.’ Clark complained, but couldn’t help but smile.

‘I’m gaining an influence over one of the most powerful people on the planet.’ Lex countered. He wasn’t spoiling that little superman look-alike and he certainly didn’t feel any urge to ruffle his hair constantly. That would be ridiculous.

‘Hey mum, buy me some too?’ Conner joined in, nudging Luthor with his shoulder.

Lex gave him a glare that spelled a particularly gory death.

‘Don’t you mum me.‘

Lena tried her best not to snicker, face stuffed with donuts. Jon looked their way, more concerned than amused. Each and every Luthor glare made him nervous.

‘You know that I got your… your mitochronial DNA right? That’s the stuff that-‘

‘There are cases when _mitochondrial_ DNA from the father is preserved-‘ Lex cut Conner off, putting emphasis on the correct pronunciation.

‘Nope. You were the one who watched over my development and I grew in your labs and stuff so…’

Luthor huffed, looking over to Clark as if demanding help.

‘Try to explain it in a way somebody with D from biology understands.’ He ordered, at loss of what to say to the teenager.

‘He’s kinda right though…’ Clark admitted after a long while. He tried his best to look professionally disinterested but corners of his mouth were rising up on their own accord.

Lex’s eyes widened in shock at the betrayal and he opened his mouth to say something, anything, before he gave up with an annoyed groan.

‘Choke on them for all I care.’ He muttered, throwing the paper bag at his face. He was supposed to be on diet anyway, Mercy would be furious if she found out.

‘Thanks mum.’

‘We should try the 30-meter drop tower next.’ Lena mused and as she moved her lips the sugar sticking to her face dropped down on her shirt. She grabbed another donut.

‘You gonna throw up from that too?’ Conner asked flatly and Luthor just gave a resigned sigh, sucking the air in through his nose.

He remembered why he hated amusement parks.


	9. Chapter nine

‘We’re having pancakes for dinner?’ Jon breathed out when he saw his dad pulling their flattest pan out of the drawer.

‘Superpancakes.’ Clark specified, giving him a warm smile as he put the pan on the kitchen counter.

Jon’s smile grew even wider.

‘Can I flip them over?’

His dad seemed to consider it for a while. ‘If they don’t end up hanging from the lamp this time.’

‘That was just one time.’ he pouted at that reminder. He was great at flipping them, but he couldn’t exactly give his best performance when his mum was tickling him.

She always stood next to Clark when he was cooking, teasing him about his choice of ingredients. Pancakes were just about the one thing that he didn’t manage to put corn in.

‘How about you break the eggs for me?’ Clark offered, seeing that the smile slid off the face of his son.

‘Okay.’  

Somebody buzzed their doorbell and continued pressing it. Clark made a point of walking there instead of running at the speed of light, just in case, but it was clear that the person was determined to chase them out and the sound was driving Jon crazy.

‘I’m coming.’ Clark shouted, but it didn’t help it any. It only stopped when he finally opened the doors.

When he did, he almost jumped up from the shock.

He had hard time trying not to gawk at their visitor, beyond surprised. He managed a slow ‘hello’ but it came out sounding more like a question.

Lena scratched her nose, craning her neck to look up at him before looking down at her shoes again because the sheer mass of superpowered body was terrifying up close. She fidgeted nervously, feeling her cheeks flare up.

The plan was simple, sneak out of the house and spend some time in the enemy territory before sneaking back in unobserved just so she could prove a point. She got through the worst part already and she was pretty confident that she could pull this off. Her dad was gonna kill her if he finds out though.

‘Good evening.’ she finally spoke up.  

‘Jon said I could come over?’

Jon’s head snapped around at the sound of her voice and his palms started sweating. He did not say anything like that.

Clark stepped away from the doors, as if inviting her inside.

‘Does your dad know?’ he asked carefully, still not quite over the first shock.

 ‘Of course.’ she lied with a charming smile, keeping her heartrate even like dad taught her.

‘It took a bit of persuasion but I convinced him that it was better than dying alone with no friends.’

Clark blinked a few times, offering her a polite smile, still quite unsure.

‘Hi Jon!’ she called out to the boy in the kitchen and he replied with a slow ‘Hi… Lena…’, brows furrowed above the black rim of his glasses.

Taking that as an agreement, Lena stepped through the threshold into a big chaotic room that seemed to be a hall, kitchen, dining room and living room all mashed into one, more out of necessity than any architectural choice. It was connected to three other rooms that all together seemed to form the entirety of the apartment. The lighting seemed too dim, the furniture battered and mismatched, and there were just two small windows looking down into the street.

She felt a pang of disappointment. She knew that Clark Kent wasn’t as rich as her dad, partly because nobody seemed to be, but she couldn’t imagine that Superman would live in a rundown apartment like this. Alright, maybe it was just that she’d gotten used to a higher standard, there were definitely worse places to live, but she imagined it’d look more like the fortress of solitude…

The click of doors closing behind her startled her. As she heard Clark approaching, she tried to put on her neutral face, but some of that disenchantment must have still been visible because he looked away from her, slightly embarrassed.     

‘Well, we don’t exactly live in a skyscraper.’ he admitted, scratching his head.

‘It’s just… real small...’ Lena whispered as she kept looking around, still frozen in place.

‘Something to drink? Water, soda…?’

‘Orange juice.’ she said, observing him carefully, as if uncertain if she wasn’t asking something impossible of him.

Clark offered her a full glass, even though his hand was empty a second ago and she didn’t even notice him moving away.

‘That’s… awesome…’ she managed, staring at him wide eyed.

‘I’ll be fast like that too… when I grow up…’ Jon grumbled, standing on a stool as he went on with breaking eggs.

‘Of course you will.’ Superman gave him a warm smile.

Lena frowned when she remembered that Clark would get killed before that, at least according to her dad. She was still standing right behind the doors, glass of orange juice in hand, looking slightly lost. She’s never been places without her dad and she’d never realised how comforting his presence was. But it didn’t matter because she was going to handle everything just fine on her own. That’s what Luthors did. She repeated all the lessons Lex taught her, composing herself.

Clark was still looking at her questioningly, noticing her spacing out.

‘Where’s your bunker?’ she asked suddenly, trying to sound adult.

 ‘What bunker?’ Clark asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.

‘The neighbours have a basement.’ Jon added, cracking an egg carefully.

‘Where are you supposed to teach me about the powers then?’ Lena asked pointedly. She wasn’t in the superhero/supervillain business but still knew that a good base with training facilities was the way to go.

‘The living room is fine. It’s not like I can fly you over to the Fortress of Solitude.’ He replied jokingly and once again, Lena fought to stop her disappointment from showing. Not even her dad has been inside the Fortress of Solitude and she definitely wanted to be first.

‘It’s really freezing there anyway.’ Jon added, forehead furrowed in concentration.

‘We’re a little busy right now, sorry about that. Do you like pancakes?’

‘The red velvet ones are fine.’

‘Sure… I think we’ll have to go for the classic though…’

‘Raspberry swirl…?’

‘Uhm.’

‘Why don’t you guys go over to Jon’s room and play while I get those done?’ he suggested, looking over to Jon.

 The boy stopped with one hand holding the egg above the bowl, looking over to Lena.

‘Okay.’ He sheepishly agreed, slowly walking over to her.

‘The room on the right.’

 

 

‘Wait! Lena!’ Jon hissed quietly, quickly following her into the room. His dad had his back turned, humming some catchy song, probably ignoring them.

‘You’re still way behind the speed of sound.’ She commented dryly, sitting down on the double bed.

‘That’s dad’s room, we’re not supposed to be here!’ he whispered urgently, glancing back at the door as if superman could bust in any moment.

Lena threw him a pitying look.

‘Listen, everything is alright as long as they don’t catch you.’ She lectured him with a serious face and immediately threw open the first drawer her eyes landed on.

‘Huh, socks.’

‘That’s what villains say.’ Jon countered, crossing his arms over his chest. Lena didn’t even bother looking up at him and only gave a long sigh instead of proper reply as she went on exploring every hiding place.

Jon sidestepped nervously, frozen in place.

‘Hey! Look at this!’ Lena squealed, too loud for his liking, as she pulled out her find.

Jon’s eyes widened with shock,- it was the superman suit.

Lena almost bounced with excitement as she examined it, loving the feeling of the indestructible fabric slipping between her fingers.

Despite his better judgement, Jon inched closer, too curious himself. Lena handed him the suit with a big wolfish grin.

‘Here, try it on.’

‘I… It’s too big!’ Jon whispered, once again surprised by Lena’s boldness.

‘Where did you even get this?’

‘False bottom drawer. It’s almost as if he wanted somebody to find it.’ Lena said casually, already moving on to another drawers.

Jon wanted to point out that it may be because usually guests don’t go looking for secret compartments but decided it’d be a waste of time. Lena’s education was too far from the norm, after all.

After checking that she had her back to him, he gingerly put one hand into the sleeve of the suit, immediately feeling more powerful and dignified.

Lena ransacked another piece of furniture, only pausing for a moment at the strawberry condoms she found at the very back. Who even keeps candy in their bedside drawer?

There was something way more interesting.

‘Our photo album.’ It was Jon who cried out this time, superman suit sliding off his shoulders. He immediately pried it from Lena’s hands and hurriedly started flipping the pages.

With a huff, she decided to tolerate his insolence this time, looking over his shoulder.

‘That’s me and Krypto… and that’s at the grandpa’s army base. You know, my other grandpa, like my mum’s dad.’ Jon announced proudly, pointing at the photos.  

‘Do you have any from when you were tiny?’ Lena asked, trying to wrestle the thing out of his hands.

‘But those are… embarrassing…’ he muttered, cheeks red.

Lena ignored him completely and jumped way back. She finally found an interesting photo. Lois, closing in on her ninth month was sitting on a sofa, one hand on her belly and the other arm around Clark who was smiling from ear to ear. Lena started at it with an odd fascination.

‘Oh, that’s me in my mum’s tummy. It was gigantic.’ Jon explained immediately even though that much was pretty obvious.

‘Do you think I was that big too, when my mother was pregnant?’ she asked, mouth a thin line.

‘I guess. Like everybody is. Just look at your photo album.’ Jon offered.

‘Your mum really liked your dad.’ Lena observed, a little surprised. Her dad pretty much hated Lois Lane but she seemed like a nice person, at least in the picture.

‘Yeah. That’s why you have kids. When two adults love each other.’ He explained, cheeks red.

‘That’s crap. My dad didn’t like my mother, she’d be still alive if he did.’ She cut him off sharply, voice cold. She didn’t even know what her mother looked like.

‘I’m sure he did. Maybe she was ill. It happens a lot.’ Jon tried softly, a bit shaken from that sudden change and unsure how to comfort her when he’s never been in a situation like this before. Also, she shouldn’t have said the c word.

‘Wanna see what dad looked like as a kid?’ he offered after a moment of awkward silence and Lena shrugged her shoulders in a resigned agreement.

 

 

‘There you are, snooping around.’

Both Lena and Jon immediately shot up from where they were sitting on the bed, and put their hands in the air.

Clark took a quick glance around the room and sighed. He should have expected as much when he let her in, but it didn’t even take Lena half an hour to ransack his room.

Still, he looked at the two of them, Lena with her defiant glare and Jon with his eyes burrowed into the floor and the superman suit draping around his shoulders, too big for his small build, and couldn’t really manage to get mad.

‘Some of those things are the matters of the Justice League.’

‘Then you shouldn’t leave them lying on the ground. We were just looking at photos.’ Lena recovered smoothly, pointing to the album that lay open on the bed.

‘Jon?’ Clark turned to him for confirmation, arms crossed over his chest as he towered above them.

‘Mostly. But Lena did snoop around. A lot.’ He admitted, feeling nervous sweat running down his back.

Lena didn’t even bother with pretending to be sorry, just shrugging her shoulders.

‘I only did it to prove how lax your security is. Also, you totally underestimated the threat.’

‘I’ll just tell Jonn to wipe your memories then.’ He suggested, making a show of being upset, eyes blazing red, and could hear both of the kids gulping.

‘But the pancakes are ready, and I don’t want them to get cold.’ He added after a while with a grin.

‘Thanks dad! Pancakes!’ Jon gasped excitedly, dashing into the kitchen, all worries long forgotten.

Lena gave Clark a long skeptical look, before she carefully picked up the photo album and walked straight to him.

‘That was incredibly childish and inappropriate.’ She scolded him with a pout, looking him straight in the eyes. She would never admit to being scared, not for a second.

‘Maybe you’ll reconsider touching things without permission next time. It’s rude.’ Clark retorted in the same fashion, but he couldn’t help smiling at her serious expression. Lena looked down at her feet a little sheepishly for a moment as if building up her courage.

When she looked up at him again, she unexpectedly thrust the album into his hands. It was opened on the photos from his childhood. With another cute pout, Lena pointed one accusing finger at the photo on the left page.

‘Is that dad?’ she asked, brows furrowed.

‘Of course. Your dad grew up in Smallville, we were… friends.’ Clark explained slowly, a bit taken back.

It was one of the few photos he had of Lex, a blurry snapshot his ma took when they were both fiddling with the tractor in the barn. He’d just bent another wrench again and Lex was laughing at him and his miserable expression.

‘You got along really well…?’ she asked innocently.

‘We did.’ Clark admitted, a bit confused by her tone. He could hear Jon in the kitchen, gobbling up the pancakes, two at one time.

‘You don’t have any other pictures?’ she immediately followed up.

‘No, not really.’

‘That’s kinda rude when he’s your nemesis. I mean my dad has entire walls filled wi-’ Lena stopped in the middle of the sentence, catching herself as she was divulging yet another family secret.

‘I know. It’s kind of… disturbing…’ Clark sighed, remembering all the times he’s been to or seen that room. At times it seemed flattering but other times it was just borderline creepy. But then again, the other villains weren’t any better.

‘Better hurry to the table or there won’t be anything left to eat.’ He changed the topic, patting her shoulder. 

Lena gave a quick nod and spared the photo one last look, committing it to her memory.

‘He looks ridiculous with all that hair.’

 

 

‘Again? We were there just two days ago.’

‘But we didn’t get to go on all the rides!’

‘Then I’ll just tell Conner to come with us instead. It’s simple.’ Lena reasoned, stabbing her half-eaten portion with a fork.

‘Try not to rely on him too much. He should be studying.’ Clark pointed out before his head whipped around and he stared through the walls of the tiny apartment, alarmed. There was a person moving straight towards them at the speed of sound.

He sighed, giving Lena a look of pure disapproval.

‘That’s why you shouldn’t lie, Lena.’ he muttered, but didn’t even give her a chance to react before pulling the two of them into safety behind him just as one of the walls crumbled apart.

Unsurprisingly, Lex Luthor walked inside in his lexo suit with all the guns at the ready, looking positively furious.

‘Lena?!’ he shouted out, glaring at the little figure hiding behind his nemesis.

She stepped out defiantly, trying to ignore the fact that her knees were trembling.

‘Father.’ She announced in a similar manner and crossed her arms over her chest like she saw him do on numerous occasions, acting a lot braver than she felt.

Lex took a deep breath and allowed himself a moment of relief at the fact that she was unharmed before a new different kind of anger boiled over.

‘I’ve been looking for you for an hour, turned the entire Metropolis upside down, battled down the Legion of Supervillains and broke into the Justice League servers-‘

‘Hey!’ Clark interrupted him, alarmed.

‘-only to find out that YOU left on your own without saying a SINGLE WORD?!’ Luthor finally finished, pointing one of his gigantic metal fingers at her accusingly.

‘You said it was too dangerous to go out on my own, but I did just fine. And you’d never let me come here otherwise.’ Lena reasoned, white in the face but unwilling to admit defeat just yet.

‘I almost had a heart attack thinking somebody out of the thousands of people who hate me kidnapped you!’ Luthor bit back, throwing his arms around angrily.

‘I thought I could get back before you’d notice…’

‘I literally have nightmares about this exact sort of situation happening and you don’t want to see how they end up!’ that didn’t fail to make her feel bad.

‘I’m sorry dad. But it’s not like you know anything about what it’s like to have superpowers and I really want to get control over this soon… and I kind of wanted to snoop around…’ she recited while looking at his shoes, face red with embarrassment from yet another failure.

She finally moved closer and took a hold of his hand, trying to reassure him. That seemed to calm Luthor down, even if just a little.

‘I will never ever do anything like this again, I swear.’

He just raised one eyebrow at that, seriously doubtful, not bothering to honor that with a reply.

‘Or for… another year…?’ she offered, raising her shoulders.

Lex let out a long sigh, scooping her up into his mechanic arms with an expression of utter resignation. The fact that he could physically feel her there helped to quiet down that one paranoid voice in his head that tried convincing him that she was fake.

Clark finally found a good moment to enter the conversation, carefully approaching the pair.

‘I’m sorry Lex, she said you knew about that and I believed her.’ He apologized softly and only got a dismissive wave from Luthor who was too tired to deal with him right now.

‘You still owe me for the wall.’ He pointed out. The people in the streets were stopping to take pictures of their new all-natural window.

‘At least you know how that feels.’

‘Well, since you’re here already, stay for the pancakes.’ he offered casually, and could see Jon shake his head violently from where he was still frozen on the spot, unable to dispel the notion that Luthor came to kill them once and for all.

‘No-‘

‘I’ll make you coffee.’

‘Alright.’ Lex agreed immediately and collapsed on a chair, propping Lena in his lap, and closed his eyes, trying to slow down his heartrate, exhausted.

Clark walked back to the kitchen, ruffling Jon’s hair as he passed by.

‘Dad, what about the kryptonite?’ The boy whispered as he finally woke up from the shock.

‘It’s okay, Lex changed his power source.’ came the automatic reply but Clark was immediately forced to do a double take when the realization hit him.

‘You changed your power source?’ he asked incredulously. That was a HUGE step towards that alliance that they could allegedly never reach.

‘Apokoliptian tech is more efficient.’ Lex grumbled back in reply. He certainly didn’t need to send that message, it was just for Lena’s sake, but it’s not like he could blurt that secret out now. Or ever.

Before he as much as blinked, there was a steaming coffee right next to him. First good news today. He tried to sweeten it, but the tiny teaspoon didn’t pair so good with his thick metal gloves and Lena had to step in, scooping a generous amount of sugar.

Clark quickly returned with some painkillers.

‘I don’t really need those.’ Lex was quick to point out.

‘You will when you get down from that adrenaline rush. Your ribs aren’t getting any better.’ came the simple reply. The look Lex gave him reminded him that he really should stop casually looking through people.

‘Do they even work on you?’

Clark stopped with his mouth opened, realizing that he was about to reveal an information about Kryptonian biology that could be exploitable.

Lex gave him an expectant look.

They were going along that well too, he didn’t want to be the one to ruin it with his trust issues.

Lena gave him an expectant look, a mirror version of her father’s.

But then again, Bruce would think this was a really bad idea.

Jon looked up at him, confused.

His mouth was still hanging open.

‘Yes.’ He finally replied after a long moment of contemplation. Judging by that victorious smirk on Luthor’s face, he chose poorly.

Lex now sipped on his coffee with a dangerous air of self-satisfaction, but he did decide to take the pills.

Jon watched as he struggled with handling the cup in his gloves, equally scared and amazed by the mechanic suit. Luthor finally decided to take the glove off and the piece detached at the elbow, followed by a cloud of steam.

‘Why don’t you just take it all off?’ he suddenly asked. The question left his lips before he could stop himself.

Lex looked up at him, surprised by the direct question. It still seemed that he was scaring the boy half to death, after all.

‘The suit gets the signals directly from my skin. I’m not wearing anything underneath.’ He replied matter-of-factly.

Jon gave him a scandalized look, looking him over again. Lena broke out laughing.

‘But you’re wearing underwear… right…?’ Jon asked again as if convinced that he was misunderstanding something.

‘Nothing.’ Luthor repeated, unbothered.

‘It’s one of the added difficulties. Destroying the suit without actually making it fall apart.’ Clark added helpfully. He almost died from embarrassment the one time he had to fly Luthor back to the prison naked.

Jon turned bright red in the face, as if he was ashamed in his place and made a point of looking at what was left of the pancakes on his plate. He looked just like Clark when he was younger.

Luthor sighed, taking another sip from his cup.

 

 

It took the police half an hour to arrive to ‘eliminate the threat’ that destroyed the apartment wall, and Luthor would have been upset any other time because he managed to make it past two pancakes loaded with butter and marble syrup by the time they arrived (and Mercy will kill him for that) but at least Lena got some extra time to play with Jon. He was pretty convinced that he should get some points for raising a child capable of socializing. Also, he didn’t get arrested this time, definitely a plus.

 

 

‘So Lena will be coming over to that house three times a week…?’ Mercy concluded, obviously unimpressed, judging by her cold expression.

‘Somehow…’ Luthor groaned. He was so exhausted that he’d have agreed to anything.

‘But if Superman mentors her he’s bound to notice some-‘

‘He won’t. Once he gets to trust anybody he’s blind and deaf to all the warning signs.’ Spoken from his own experience.

‘Alright. I will incorporate it into her weekly schedule.’ Mercy conceded, scribbling onto her clipboard, and immediately moved on to another matter.

‘Professor Kreisberg has made another improvement on the prototype for teleporting car. He thought you’d want to see it.’  

‘Hm.’ Luthor managed meaningfully, thinking about something completely different.

‘Let’s restart project Galatea.’ He interrupted her, fiddling with his hands.

‘With all due respect sir, that’s insane.’ Mercy breathed out, shaking her head.

‘Lena would be happy to have somebody to play with and I’m sure she’d take good care of her baby brot-‘

‘Lena’s birth was suspicious enough, doing it again is downright suicidal. Even if nobody else finds out, she will.’

‘But, if we handled it caref-‘

‘Is it just because you saw Clark and Jon-‘

‘NO, no.’ Lex denied it all too ardently.

Mercy sighed again.

‘Lena has three brothers, isn’t that more than enough?’

‘But they’re completely out of my control.’  Luthor groaned but it seemed like he finally acknowledged how ridiculous his plan was.

‘I’m sure she would rather get a mother.’

Lex snorted, rolling his eyes. If he got thousand dollars every time somebody reminded him of his single status, he could give up his company. He had a sudden thought and jumped out of his chair to make sure that anybody wasn’t eavesdropping on them.

Mercy stared at him in bewilderment as he went to check behind the doors of his office and in the hall.

‘What is it sir?’

‘I could have sworn that Lena was listening in on us. She has a sixth sense for things like this.’

‘She ran off with some of the material from your labs earlier, but Hope went after her.’

‘Not from the Secret Stash, I hope?’ he froze as his head flooded with images of Lena suffering from severe kryptonite poisoning.

‘Of course not, sir. Nobody could break in there.’

‘Just let her play then. Experiments are allegedly integral part of childhood development.’

 

 

Lena dumped all the stolen materials on her big desk, feeling victorious. She got grounded and couldn’t go out with the exception of her scheduled visits at Kent’s, but it wasn’t as if she was usually allowed to go outside because ‘the world was a dangerous place for her until she grew up’ so she couldn’t really see the difference. Well, except for the fact that half of the points she collected got deducted which meant it’ll take forever until she’ll even get close to constructing the shark tank she needed so bad.

But she got all she wanted and if she spends lot of time at Kent’s place, her dad would have to keep meeting Superman. Since he was so bad at the one particular thing that was getting together with uncle Clark, she would help out. It’d also prove that her abilities already surpassed her father’s at least in one aspect.

In the meantime, she’ll just do what she always did, invent better and deadlier technologies.

She sorted through the stolen scraps of lab material that was scheduled for demolition until she finally found a good piece to start her robot with. It was a badly broken up robotic head of some alien design with complex circuitry made out of some unknown material. She wanted to expose its main panel so that she could get a closer look at the wiring, but she couldn’t pry its brain cavity open. Furious, she stabbed it with a screwdriver. One of its eyes blinked suddenly and turned to look at her.

The screwdriver dropped out of her hand and she immediately stuffed the head into the trash can, making sure to put it in facing the wall. Cold sweat broke up on her forehead.

That definitely didn’t scare her. Not at all. And it was very harmless, and she didn’t doom anyone by tinkering with it.

Alright, maybe she should start by making a death ray instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever again (sorry), but we're getting some story progression...?   
> Anyway, I'm eternally grateful for all the kudos and comments!


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